Walk You Home

My love letter to Huggies Pure and Natural

2010-04-28T21:43:00.000-05:00

I have felt a little like Goldilocks lately as I've been searching and trying to find the diaper in Creighton's size that is "just right" for him...OK and "just right" for my tastes too!
First I tried the Pampers kind, but they were too long and there was too much leakage. Creighton's body shape just didn't fit them correctly. I know plenty of people who love them- and I LOVED the swaddlers for when he was a newborn, but the size 3 diapers left much to be desired for me.

Next I tried the Huggies little movers kind, but they were too advanced for Creighton's skill set- ie- they are for babies that are crawling and moving much more than he is. They do have great contouring though, and I might go back to these when he really gets to crawling, we'll see. They are like a 9 out of 10 on the leakage factor...it just doesn't happen easily in these diapers. Their drawback though is that they really don't absorb the baby poo...it just kinda sits there in the diaper. I mean, yuck. Enough said.

After that, I tried the Huggies Snug and Dry and they were the best I thought I could get, but they still were not absorbent enough. (see above comment about huggies little movers.)

Then I tried the Huggies Pure and Natural...let me tell you, those were just right!

I've been eyeing these diapers on shelves at Target and on shelves at HEB for the past few weeks. Each time I would go down the baby isle I would stare at the package and wonder, could they really be so great? Were they really worth the money? I also just knew they were targeting shoppers like me, who would think "Oooh, organic, it must be so soft..." I mean honestly, they sounded too good to be true/worth how much they cost! Even the packaging was designed to lure me in....It's covered in leaves:

My curiosity got the better of me and today and I finally decided I would bite the $20 bullet and try them out...all the while worrying that I might like them so much that I would have a hard time going back to the cheaper diapers. (P&N are $20 for 66 diapers, and the others are about $20 for 96...We'll see how long I can keep this up!)

It's confirmed, now I can't go back to the "regular" diapers. I took one of the pure and natural diapers out of the package this afternoon to let Creighton try it, and it seriously felt like it was a cloth diaper. For those of you who have felt diapers before...they can get pretty plasticy feeling- these do not do that! If I was Creighton's age, I would want these diapers wrapped around me!

I never really explored actual cloth diapers, I thought they would be too much of a hassle/had heard bad things about how much they leak, but now I'm kind of curious, after feeling how soft these "organic cotton" disposable ones are...I can only imagine how great (in theory) real cloth diapers would be!

Here's a comparison shot of the three diaper types I tried:

L-R: Pampers, Huggies Little Movers, and Huggies Pure and Natural

Thickness of the diapers: L-R: Pampers, Huggies Little Movers, and Huggies Pure and Natural

Another Thickness shot

My happy well diapered son!

So, my vote is in- Huggies Pure and Natural for my kiddo...unless of course I discover something even better! I'm justifying the price by thinking of the diaper like his foundational wardrobe piece. It's just like my foundational items...you kind of get what you pay for. I'm sure many people do not feel this strongly about diaper choice, because after all you do throw them away after each use, but, man I just love these diapers!

It's been far too long!

2010-04-24T17:15:00.002-05:00

Wow, how have I let the blog slide for soooo long? Maybe it has a little something to do with this cute 4 month old baby boy I have?! I've made a resolution to blog at least once a month, although I would like it to be more, I've learned to start out with a reachable goal and work your way forward from there!

So many things have been going on!

Uno:

Creighton is growing like CRAZY! He is so wonderful and his sweet little personality is really starting to come out more and more- love it! He's usually pretty happy and smiley when he wakes up in the morning, and I love the time we have together before I go into work at 11:30. For the record, working half-days has really turned out to be lovely. I had some apprehension about it all, but now that I'm doing it, I'm quite happy with it. It just feels like Creighton is taking a long nap...and I just happen to be working during his long nap! Kelly is keeping him while I'm at work and she is so AWESOME with him, it really helps knowing that he is in great hands!

Creighton is also a bit of a night owl. He likes to stay up until about 10 or 10:30 and he sleeps in until about 8 or so. He is still waking up at least once in the night, but it really doesn't stress me out. It just is what it is :) Creighton is working really hard on learning how to roll over and he is creeping around getting closer and closer to crawling! He's smiling and laughing lots lately and is pretty laid back as long as he isn't hungry or sporting a dirty diaper.

Here are some "watch me grow" shots of Creighton:

December- Creighton's first Christmas (Roughly a week old)

January- Hi, my name's Creighton and I sleep and eat a lot! (Roughly 1 month)

February- I love to smile! (Roughly 2 months)

March- Getting coffee with Carosa (Roughly 3 months)

April- Happy Easter! (Roughly 4 months)

Easter- Just talking away in his GG's arms :)

It is so much fun being a mom and I love it! Has our life changed a TON yes, but it is a great change and one I am so thankful we got/get to make!

More to follow...just ran out of time for more on this post! Upcoming: I'm running again and some thoughts on faith/what it means to hope!

Creighton is here!

2009-12-26T11:57:00.001-06:00

So much has happened since my last post! Creighton has arrived! What an experience! We are so thankful and happy to announce his arrive on December 14, 1009 at 2:47 pm. Creighton weighed 6 pounds and 13 ounces and measured 19.5 inches! He weighs a bit more now (7 pounds and 8.5 ounces) and is laying on my chest as I type at a funny angle so that he can stay there!

Creighton right after he was born!

I am just overwhelmed with thankfulness and gratitude for the gift of Creighton. God is so faithful- It is amazing to look at how he has been with us through this journey, and what a beautiful start to the rest of this journey of raising Creighton we have had. I feel so privileged to be entrusted with raising him to love God and others deeply. I don't think I can adequately describe the immense sense of joy, awe and thanksgiving that I feel in this time with Creighton and Brian.

This pregnancy was not an easy one emotionally for me, but I would do it again in a heartbeat! I am so thankful for all of the support I experienced from friends and family. My doctor, Russ, was an amazing support- through all of my visits and phone calls, he was always so patient and encouraging with me. I am very thankful that we went through this process with him.

When I delivered John there was a wonderful resident named Dr. Larson who stayed past her shift to finish everything with us and then returned the next morning before her shift started to check on us. She was an awesome support. When I was admitted to the hospital in labor with Creighton, Dr. Larson was there again and she was able to help deliver Creighton! She was able to stay with us while Russ was running back and forth between the clinic and us. It was such an amazing full circle experience to have her there for Creighton's delivery! God is so neat!

So, the delivery... I went into labor on my own (which I was really excited about!) and made good progress. I tried to get admitted to the hospital around 8:30 pm, but they told me I needed to wait until I wasn't laughing as I walked through the exam room doors to get my progress checked. Apparently, you are not supposed to be able to talk through the contractions- which everyone, including Russ, told me, but for some reason I didn't really believe that the pain would get so bad that I wouldn't want to talk. After I was home for a few more hours, low and behold the pain did get that bad! We went back up around 3:15 am and I had made great progress, so Dr. Day made me so happy and told me that I could stay and did I want an epidural! YOU BET! I mean, I must have looked like such a dork- I was smiling at EVERYONE I walked past on the way to get settled in my labor room...I think I even told a few random nurses how excited I was that I got to stay and wasn't sent home...

I got settled in my room and very quickly had an epidural, which helped me to rest some which was important since I had decided to stay up the night before finishing a quilt for Creighton until 2:30 am, then did not nap on Sunday afternoon b/c I was too excited about my consistent contractions!

Russ came to check on me early in the morning, sometime after 7 and checked my progress. Then it was just a waiting game while I made progress. I ended up stalling out at 6 cm and so I got some pitossin (sp?) to help me along and things really kicked into gear once I had that medicine. Creighton was in the correct position, except his head was facing up, so Russ had to turn his head to face down. Creighton was not too thrilled about this, and kept trying to turn his face back up. This meant I was in a bit of pain while Russ tried to get him to turn, but eventually Creighton did turn! Russ left to take care of his other duties and soon after he left, we realized that my epidural had somehow come out! (I was wondering why I was feeling more pain...) After some tense discussion about whether or not it could be reconnected, the anesthesiologist let me know that they could take the first epidural out and insert a new one, if I could roll on my side. Let me tell you- I was HAPPY to roll on my side...even though it hurt a lot b/c I was at the point of being ready to push, and being on my side I wasn't supposed to be pushing. Thankfully they were able to get me hooked up again. Since it would take about 20 minutes to feel the effects of the epidural, the nurse asked me if I wanted to push through the contractions or just wait...THAT was an easy answer- of course push! So, since I could feel everything, I made some great progress during that pushing phase, and I think it helped to speed up my delivery time (YAY!)

During the active labor/pushing phase I was surprised that I really pulled into myself and didn't want to talk a bunch or hear much else other than the nurse counting for me and telling me to breathe and Brian, My mom and Erin telling me that I was doing a good job! Verbal encouragement has always gone a long way for me- so anytime they told me good push, I was ready to do it again! During this stage, Dr. Allen stopped by to say hi and check on our progress. Dr. Allen is the doc who was able to see all the problems with John and helped us look at all the information and know what was going on and who also did our ultrasound to check Creighton for his health during this pregnancy, so it was pretty cool that he would take the time to come by and visit us. He was encouraging. It was funny, when the doctors would stop by, I really felt like I needed to put my A game on and push with everything I had so that they would know I had been working really hard...hi, I was definitely a teacher pleaser growing up...

So, continued with more pushing and more breathing and more pushing then...

Before I knew it, Russ and Dr. Larson were suiting up in these funny looking blue jump suits and pull on cloth knee high boots. This meant Creighton was about to be born! I was so excited! And, while I wasn't in a ton of pain, I could tell that I was going to be sore later! (Thank you re-inserted epidural!)

I pushed a few more times and pretty soon we heard a little cry, I saw Brian cut the cord and then I had baby Creighton on my chest! HOW AMAZING! I teared up a little bit, but I was more in awe that Creighton was actually here! I got to cuddle him a bit before they took him to the warmer to get him all cleaned off, etc. Brian went with him (right next to my bed) while Dr. Larson and Dr. Fothergill (Russ) got me taken care of. Brian watched a bit of the stitching and he is convinced that Dr. Larson would be really good at fishing as she was able to tie knots in her stitching very quickly!

Creighton at 1 week old!

Nothing compared to finally holding Creighton in my arms and the massive feelings of love and thanksgiving that Brian and I felt! We are SO thankful he is here- and quite aware that God is the one who brought us through this whole process!

Christmas Day!

So Thankful! (Again...)

2009-12-02T07:04:00.001-06:00

Just so very thankful to be in the 38th week of this pregnancy with Creighton. What an amazing gift from God! I'm doing some serious thinking about all that has led up to this point, and I can genuinely say that everything that has happened, I am thankful for experiencing. What anticipation I am feeling right now! I can't wait to blog more about what I'm processing, but I've got to process a bit more before I can get it out right. I just know that God is so completely love- so good and faithful- in the midst of being filled over to the brim with joy and in the midst of extreme pain. I am so thankful that I get to serve God, and want to be more concious of my endeavors toward that end.

More to come...

"This is how I see you, in the snow on Christmas morning..." -Sarah McLachlan

2009-11-30T07:29:00.000-06:00

So, I will follow on Borrego's cue of sharing her holiday decorating. I was inspired by her blog this morning to share what I have accomplished this past weekend!

This year, we opted for a more artistic tree (skinny 7.5 ft) as the nine-footer, full, pineconed tree we usually use was going to be a bit big for me to manage (Think of me climbing on a ladder 37 weeks pregnant= probably will fall, not to mention when would either Brian or I want to think about taking it down with Creighton here by then?!) So, I bought this little tree back in October when they went on sale and I am happy with it. I will say that it can't really support many heavy ornaments, so it has become more of a woodland animal styled tree this year, and I think I will be looking for a few more lightweight bird ornaments to add to it!

Our little tree!

The squirrel I got from a sweet first grader named Halle years ago. I LOVE this ornament!

Super cute pinecone hedgehog!

A little bitty cardinal

A pheasant for Brian b/c he loves to hunt them...

And my hooty owl up at the top!

I also put up the nativity set in the entryway:

I also put out the advent calendar that I finally found last season (I had been searching for a good one for a few years!)

And of course I had to add the Chirstmas Wreath to my wreath stand. I did not make this holiday's wreath, instead, I purchased it at 40% off in early November from Michael's!

I really like the leaves!

So that's about it on holiday decorating at our house! I will do a centerpiece for the dining room table soon and I did add a sweet welcoming angel to the front porch, but it is too cold to go out and take a pic this morning! I will have to update that at a later date!

The Belly!

2009-11-25T07:44:00.001-06:00

So, I went with my great friend Kelly, who I teach with and who is also starting her own photography business to get some maternity shots. We had such a great time! Her sister-in-law Erin came along and helped (thank you for taking control of my clothing/hair when it was being funky!) Brian came toward the end of the session and got in on a few shots! All in all fabulous experience! I highly reccomend using Kelly for your photography needs! Here's her info: http://kellyrhodes2005.blogspot.com/ and her blog is on my list to the right as well!

Here's a few of the pics! (And you can see just how red my hair looked after the trip to the salon a few weeks ago!) I'm 36 weeks pregnant in these pics!

I'm awake...again

2009-11-24T04:45:00.001-06:00

Well, I am up at 4:00 am...again. I usually wake up about four as my hips cannot take being laid on anymore at that point...as of 3 or 4 nights ago! I have been waking up at four to use the restroom (thank you pressure on bladder), but now it's like I have walk around a bit and get a drink or eat some oatmeal with pb. I just read everything online about being in your 37th week of pregnancy b/c I officially am now! Those sites make it sound like labor is just around the corner. I mean, maybe in relation to the total amount of time spent pregnant it is, but, it sure doesn't feel like it! I also read that you can expect to be 2 days to two weeks later than your due date! NOT what I wanted to hear! One site said, "don't be surprised if you have a burst of energy, that's just your nesting kicking in...really- I've had that burst I'd say...I seriously was contemplating if I should go wrap Christmas gifts right now...really at 4:37 am? Maybe not! I have done a TON of stuff around the house, and my to do list is getting shorter and shorter. Brian really wanted me to pack my "go bag" last night, but alas it did not happen. I don't know what my hold up is, but I am just not inspired to pack it. I will try to get there tonight...

Speaking of tonight, my Mom is coming to help me start to get ready for Thanksgiving! I am so excited that my extended family is coming to our house this year! Brian has almost finished the deck- read no stairs, but the rest is prettymuch done, and I have started to think of writing a list to the grocery store as well! I'm so glad we will get to see everyone so soon! I thought Thanksgiving would never come! I'm also really looking forward to having my mom around for a few extra days! So great!

Ok, time to go attempt to sleep again. From this point on, I usually wake up pretty frequently until I finally decide to give it up and just get ready for the day...perhaps this is prepping me for when Creighton needs to be fed...we'll see!

"Awww, Bless your heart hon." -Baylor Representative basically trying to sell me a husband

2009-11-18T22:05:00.000-06:00

*Sirena recently posted a link to our Singletons of 211 community blog http://singletons211.blogspot.com/ that we started back around Senior year of college. That would make it 2003/2004 when we started it. This blog entry is one that I posted post-graduation when we were still keeping up with the blog from our various cities. I sat down and read like oh the ENTIRE archived blog this evening and laughed outloud MANY times. This post was just too funny...talk about PRESSURE to get married/couple up!

Posted by me on 10.24.2005

Actual convo. with a Baylor Representative
I had this phone converstion this past Sunday afternoon
Baylor rep: "Hi Laura, we're just calling to check in and see how life after college is going."

Me: Great :) Thanks for calling.

Baylor rep: So, are you still in the Austin Area, lets check your address

Me: Ok

- we check address/contact info, then oh so casually thrown in is the following:
Baylor rep: So are you still enjoying teaching?

me: yes, very much so, it's a great job

Baylor rep: Still with Leander ISD?

Me: yes, great district

Baylor rep: Are you still teaching first grade?

Me: I sure am

Baylor rep: So, have you had a chance to get married since you've graduated?

Me: No, I haven't (thinking in my head...wow they must do some sort of statistical average- % ring by spring, % first year after college, % post first year out)

Baylor rep: Aww, bless your heart

Me: stunned silence

Baylor rep: Well laura, we're putting together a directory for all of the recent baylor grads...blah blah blah, coffee table quality directory...blah, blah, only 69.99 if you act today...only twenty dollars more if you want the cd-rom to go with it...blah blah blah

Me: I don't really need a directory, but thanks so much for offering.

Baylor Rep: Well let me give you the number for when you change your mind.

I "copy down" the number

Baylor rep: So Laura, is this your only contact number

Me: yes

Baylor rep: Ok laura, so have you had a chance to get engaged yet?

(ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!! lol)

Me: No, I sure haven't

Baylor Rep: Oh, bless your heart hon. Well, you have the number

Me: yep, thanks, have a good day

Baylor Rep: you too hon, thanks now, bye.

Me: bye
So...they really must keep tabs...neat...sic 'em bears
lol, bundy

Hair cut

2009-11-10T23:16:00.000-06:00

Time out- how could I leave this off the last post? I got my hair cut and colored today. I've been with a new gal since mine "no longer works at SASS" ie- I think she was fired :( I've been to see my new gal 2 times. The first time, she did not make my hair red enough in my opinion, but when I got home Brian LOVED it and it ended up being a great nutmeg/red tinged color. I really enjoyed it! The second time I saw her I simply got my hair shaped up and she really listened about the layers I wanted and took care of it- I loved my hair! Now, I went this morning for the third trip and told her- let's do exactly what we did last time on the color. :) I reminded her that we kept it more nutmeg than red. I told her how much my husband liked my hair color last time, and how I ended up loving it! I also asked her to take a bit more off of my hair length wise b/c I wouldn't be back until at least a few weeks after Creighton was born so I wanted to have some room to grow it out....yeah we agreed on an inch instead of the usual 1/2 inch. Let me tell you...she took mroe than an inch. :( Boo.

I am hoping that tomorrow when I do it on my own and mess around with it that I will be happier with it, but I am just not sure how it is going to go. Brian asked me why I keep going to her if she keeps not doing what I like. I told him I am giving her a chance. SHe told me today that if I still don't like my hair in a week to call her and she will fix the color for me- which I appreciate. So, we'll see what happens. It's just not the natural subtle shade of red I was going for...it's more Miranda on Sex and the City style red hair. SOmething my friend Borrego wanted me to try since college...so now it's accidentally been done.

I did notice that an actual AVEDA hair salon is opening in Harker Heights and I just might have to move my hair care to that new establishment. How I have missed my organic honey phomolient from Aveda. They are my first love when it comes to hair products. I'll post a pic of how the hair turns out tomorrow. I don't even want to take a picture tonight. You'll just have to look at the side shot of me with Daisy below for an idea of what it looks like now...

Daisy...

2009-11-10T22:48:00.001-06:00

So...Daisy is excited about Creighton coming soon too! Tonight, she kept putting her paws on Creighton. Not pushing, just placing them there. Brian and thought this was pretty funny. A couple of times Creighton kicked or moved, but it didn't seem to phase Daisy.

Here she is checking out Creighton's crib...or perhaps she's after the cute teddy bear...

That's all, just wanted to share these cute pics!

"Above the rooftops, eyes closed we're gonna spin through the stars, our arms wide as the sky, we gonna ride the blue all the way to the end of the world...When the kids are old enough, we're gonna teach them to fly...You and me together could do anything..." -DMB You and Me

2009-10-16T00:35:00.001-05:00

I was sitting on the couch thinking all of these thankful thoughts and so I decided to share.

I'm thankful that today I started my day out with a brisk walk with Daisy and Holly. Exercise is always more pleasant when it is done with a friend!

I'm thankful for the woman at Dillard’s today who saw me looking longingly at a super cute fitted Kensie dress and said, "Don't worry, you'll get back into those clothes soon enough!" I am also thankful for the associate who did NOT make me feel dumb when I had to walk up to her at the jewelry counter with a ring box attached to my ring finger b/c I couldn't get the fake wedding ring I was trying on off. (My fingers are too large to comfortably wear my wedding rings now...no ankle swelling but my fingers have gone up a half size or so depending on the weather.) The associate was kind enough to give me some lotion and tell me not to worry, the rings would actually come off. She also went on to tell me that plenty of women who weren't even pregnant got rings stuck on their fingers...which actually made me feel better.

I'm thankful I still fit in size medium maternity jeans :) I now own a stunning new pair.

I'm thankful that my kids at school feel like it is appropriate to hug me at any point in the day...I had two just come up and give me random hugs today when I was CLEARLY in the middle of teaching a small group and later when I was organizing a bunch of spirals. I'm glad they feel like they can approach me. I also appreciate the fact that one kiddo not only gives me her "good afternoon" hug, but also feels the need to pat Creighton...i.e. my belly, every day. (I think she's got some Borrego in her!)

I'm thankful that after a long day at work I got to come home to Brian putting the finishing touches on the dinner he made for us because he has decided that I would probably prefer not to cook dinner at the end of the day when I am feeling tired and rather large. I'm thankful that we get to laugh together again. It really hasn't been that long since we just couldn't. A year has gone by quickly.

I'm thankful that I accomplished a quilting goal. I set out to do finish a baby quilt for a friend and I got it done in the time frame I specified. I just set small goals and met them! Yay! I'm going to have to apply this small goal setting thing again in other areas of my life!

I'm thankful my dad still calls just to check in and "see how I'm doing" every week. I appreicate that he can get excited with me over whatever it is I'm excited about! I want to be like that with my own kids!

I'm thankful that Daisy was the sweet, kind, and even CALM dog that I know she can be from the moment I got home today to the present. She's adorable!

I'm thankful that I get to carry Creighton right now and will experience the gift of having him someday soon! It’s so amazing when he rolls over, sticks an arm or a leg out actually moving my stomach, or even pokes me in the ribs because there is this real little life inside of me!

I'm thankful for my good friends who care and for the richness and depth they add to my life. I'm thankful for their realness and our inside jokes!

I'm thankful that when I finish this blog and finally tiptoe to bed, that Brian will roll over and wake up just enough to put his arm around me so we can fall asleep together.

I'm just really thankful!

If only I could have a bowl of pho...

2009-10-07T21:42:00.000-05:00

PHO GA Soup!

So, this is all that I wanted this evening for dinner. Sadly, because I don't live near a variety of restaurants, pho was unavailable for me this evening. I googled, and I hoped furiously that there would be a place I could get the pho in Killeen since it is an army town, but alas, I could find none listed online...well, one but I couldn't tell if it was in a shady part of Killeen or not, so, I passed. As soon as I can get to KIM PHUNG restaurant, in Austin, TX, I am there! I really thought about driving there tonight, but since I had no other reason to drive to Austin and I actually couldn't think of something that I needed to buy there, I did not. Sadness.

Instead, I got the best substitute available: Thai food from a little quick prep place in town. Now, my thai food was tasty, but I have to say Pad Mee, is just not the same as Pho soup! (But the peanut sauce was awesome...for my fresh spring rolls!)

That's all, I just needed to share about my fruitless search for pho soup this afternoon/early evening.

30 week check up

2009-10-06T22:32:00.002-05:00

I had my 30 week check up today with Gretchen (she sees me every other time or so) and she is this lovely grandmotherly type woman who was very kind today. She told me not to stress about gaining 3 lbs in 2 weeks, but just be careful since Creighton is about to start growing like mad. (Seriously- 3 LBS in 14 days?!!! UGH!) She also was kind enough to tell me that it looked like I was gaining all the weight right where Creighton is, so I guess that is good. I did confess that it was not the only place I had gained weight, but she seemed unfazed. Sometimes it's nice to have some female empathy. :) I did however walk a brisk 30 minutes with Daisy today and pushed through when I started to get the lovely Braxton-Hicks (Sp?) contraction deals...thankfully they just hit at the end.

All was well with Creighton- he had a strong heartbeat of 152 bpm...which Gretchen told me meant he was either quite excited over the breakfast I had eaten or he was still hungry...I went with excited, but later ate a spoonful of pb just in case he was actually hungry.

I also decided to share with Gretchen the entire story of how I had a recent panic filled dream. Why I feel that I need to share the WHOLE story with people, I am not sure, but I do think part of me was gauging her response to see how normal dreams like mine were. She didn't act like I was crazy, so I took that as a good sign. :)

My dream was- in a nutshell- that I had just delivered Creighton, but the doctor was not Russ, instead it was some chick who did not care at all and the nurses had taken Creighton out right away after he was born and they would not tell me what was wrong. Finally I basically demanded that they tell me what was going on and all they would say was "Something's wrong with him- he's too small." At which point, I began to have major trouble breathing in my dream...we're talking gasping for breath repeatedly. I then (in reality) woke up from my dream gasping for air and crying. Brian woke up and told me what I was telling myself- it was only a dream and helped me calm down, which I did after a few minutes, but still- that dream was not pleasant.

Gretchen gave me all sorts of reasons that I might have dreamed that and told me it was pretty normal. All in all, a good little visit.

After that I came home and I started experimenting with some new free-motion quilting. My aunt sent me a website where this lady is designing a new free motion quilting design a day for a year. Today I tried one and it turned out ok for a first attempt. I'll continue to work on it though! Here's the link to her blog if you are interested: http://freemotionquilting.blogspot.com/ I feel inspired after searching through her ideas. I could totally come up with my own ideas I'm sure! I just need to get on it! Um...and improve my skills!

That's it for now. Will post more later this week on last weekend's trip to Wimberley!

"You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head...you make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe, shine like gold, buzz like a bee, just the thought of you can drive me wild, oh you make me smile..." -Smile, Uncle Kracker

2009-09-28T22:10:00.001-05:00

What a great shower I got to go to in Austin last weekend! Some friends from my hometown threw it for me and it was lovely! Sandra and Liza hosted the shower and they made very tasty treats for everyone to enjoy! They also made a very cute diaper cake! I was so impressed! It was so much fun to see friends and family and pretty awesome to be on the joyous side of things!

Many of the guests who attended the shower also came to John's funeral last year, and what an amazing thing it was to me to see everyone gathered again, but this time to celebrate Creighton's soon to be (11 weeks!) arrival! Real friends are like that though, they are there when life is hard and there when life is so exciting you just can't stand it! It really meant a lot to me. Of course I didn't mention any of that, but I sure was thinking it. The experience of having John is just such a part of my life now, but thankfully thinking about him or being reminded of him now really draws me back to God's grace and faithfulness. So much has happened in a year and I am thankful.

The shower was SO much fun! All of my aunts came and so did two of my cousins- many of them traveled multiple hours to come for the shower, and it meant a lot to me that they came! I loved talking with everyone, the food, all the hugs, tummy pats and I loved opening all the gifts for Creighton and imagining him using them! The outfits are adorable and he is going to be well dressed! I also came to the relization (after Brian unloaded everything from the car) that having a baby equals having a TON of stuff! It seemed like a lot at the shower, but when it was all piled in the nursery is was a massive amount of baby paraphanalia! Crazy! I've since completely cleaned out the closet in his room and reorganized oh...everything! It was so fun!

After the shower I went to Kirby Lane with Erin, Jen, Shea, Laura, and Carosa and we had a great time talking and eating yummy food! It was so nice to just sit and be with such good friends, I am again quite thankful to have them in my life!

I would also have to say that I am in full-blown nesting mode around the house! I have a list of projects for me to complete and a list of projects for Brian to complete before Creighton arrives. We'll see how we do on getting all that done! I know the time will probably pass quickly, but it seems like eleven weeks is a long time unitl Creighton gets here!

I've been reading all sorts of wonderful books lately. I've been reading Helping Baby Sleep, The Science and Practice of Gentle Bedtime Parenting and this has been my favorite so far, but I'm also reading a massive book by Dr. Sears Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know about Your Baby from Birth to Age Two and it is more of a reference book, but it is really helpful too! I have The Philosophical Baby on order as well as Nurtureshock. Nurtureshock just sounded interesting in general, I'm not sure that so much of it really has to do with infants, but I decided I wanted to read it too. It was just recently published. Anyway, in the midst of all of this informative reading I also read Dan Brown's new book, The Lost Symbol and LOVED it! It was so interesting and a page turner. I will admit that I slowed down for the very end of it, but up until then, I was staying up way too late to find out what happened! I would definitely reccomend it!

Things are going well at our house, and Brian has lofty plans of building a deck off the back porch before Thanksgiving when all of our family will be celebrating at our house this year! I'm going to attempt to help Brian some which means I get to put some screws in the deck way down the road after he has put the planks on! I'm so excited to host Thanksgiving! It will be a blast to have everyone over!

Creighton is doing well. At my last doctor's appointment (28 weeks, last Monday) I measured perfectly and I had not gained any weight which was quite ideal! All that walking and eating right really paid off! Now I'm on the two week rotation for going to see Russ or Gretchen (The nurse practitioner who sees me every other time and is delightful as well!) and I think that is pretty amazing! I'm in the third trimester officially and I have started to experience some of the aches and pains associated with that, as well as some Braxton-Hicks contractions...which are just small contractions you get as your body starts to rev up for the inevidible labor. Creighton is kicking all.the.time. now and he's pretty funny! I can feel when he rolls to the side or switches posititions and that is pretty interesting! A few nights ago I saw something push out on the top of my uterus and arch all the way from one side of my tummy to another! Was it an arm, an elbow or a foot? I can't be sure, but it was pretty neat! Right now Creighton is a bit over 2 pounds and 14 inches or so long. From this point out he just gains weight each week. All of his senses are developed and his brain is continuing to mature. He probably has hair on his head now and his little toenails and fingernails are still growing! He can open and close his eyes and he can respond to light. (He does, each morning when I get in the shower!)

I could ramble on and on...summary: I'm really excited!

Overachiever!

2009-08-24T21:33:00.007-05:00

Ok, as of this past Monday, I am officially going to be exercising regularly! I had kind of dropped the ball on that as of late, but now after my 24 week check up (which I had Monday morning at 8:30), I suddenly feel encouraged to get back on that treadmill for a good cause! That cause being that I don't want to birth a 10 pound baby!

Everyone has a range of healthy weight to gain during pregnancy. I found out today that mine was probably around 25 pounds. That doesn't sound too bad, I mean it sounds like a LOT of weight to pack on over a period of time, right? Well, it turns out, that I am an overachiever, and as of today, I have managed to gain...oh 20 of those pounds! WOW! I mean, I knew I was expanding and everything, but wow! I have NEVER weighed as much as I do right now!

Before I found out that I was pregnant, Brian and I had many conversations where we agreed that when I was pregnant, I would never refer to myself as fat, since weight gain is just a part of it. Now, I have no problem maintaining that agreement, but I will say that it is very easy to gain weight when you feel hungry and tired most of the time! I will also admit, that perhaps multiple trips to the blue bell ice cream store in Belton (Shoutout to "The Dugout" they have super great bb ice cream and it is really reasonable...I mean like $1.80 for a single scoop sugar cone!) in a week are not the best idea! (Although, I sure enjoyed everyone who stopped by the dugout with me this past week!)

So, I feel renewed in mind after a very nice conversation with my Doctor, Russ, about eating healthfully and about the importance of exercise in my life. He was very nice about it all and was only telling me about watching my weight gain a bit to save me from a) having a more difficult birthing process, b) being overwhelmed by the amount of weight that I will need to lose after Creighton's arrival, and my favorite: c) having an extremely large baby.

Now it is no secret that the idea of birthing Creighton has prompted several random dreams revolving around his birth. Some of which end up perfectly and others that have been a bit scary. I didn't fully realize that the birth weight of your child can be influenced by your own birth weight and your spouse's birth weight until today. Brian weighed 9 pounds and 11 ounces and I weighed 8 pounds and someodd ounces when I was born! So, I am officially gyming it and taking Daisy for walks AND eating much better! We'll see how this goes, in a month when I have my next check up I'll see what the numbers say!

Only in Bell County

2009-08-22T22:09:00.003-05:00

Brian came home with a VERY interesting story and I wanted him to share! He is my first guest blogger! Enjoy! -laura

Well, it was the best of times... it was the worst of times... ha, ha... always wanted to start a strange but true story like that. In all seriousness, truth is often stranger than fiction.....

So I am headed home from Mahomet cruising down 2484... its a dark and stormy night... well actually, it had been a dark and storm night... now its just dark. I am enjoying the moon in my rear view mirror, mindless 80's music on XM, and thinking it's just a good day all around.... when out of nowhere, someone on the other side of the road on the shoulder starts flashing their headlights at me. I slow down and ask whats wrong. They reply, "there is a guy laying in the road up ahead!" I say "Okay", toss my flashers and brights on and slowly advance.

Sure enough, there is a guy laying in a pool of blood on the road. Two ladies are standing in awe, and a cowboy is checking things over. I hop out thinking this guy just shot himself in the middle of the road. Hell of a bad place for a suicide, but a surefire way to make sure you get found. Then I realize I am glad those folks flashed their lights at me, or I might have added to the disaster or wrecked my truck trying to avoid all of the fools standing in BOTH lanes of traffic. Having a moment of lucidity I suggested, "Hey you all might want to stand in just ONE lane of traffic." Realize the sanity of that idea, like a herd of wild cats, they all congregated around the body....

I guess I should tell you about the guy laying on the road with a pool of blood which by now looks like its stopped flowing from his head. He was a late middle aged man, wearing a white straw cowboy hat, well worn wranglers, and boots pulled over the legs of the jeans that had definitely seen better days. Under him his cell phone and a pair of glasses lay on the pavement. I didn't see a gun, so I decided that he must have been hit by a car, but wondered how on earth he got to the middle of nowhere. Believe it or not, I even started looking around to see if maybe he had been thrown off of a horse and landed in the road. Yes, this is Texas, and yes, people do ride horses in the right of way... anyway, no horse found I.

It was about this time that I realize this guy isn't dead. He starts moving a bit. Good sign, right? So wonderful Boy Scout first aid training kicks in juxtaposed with the realization that there is a LOT of blood on this guy's head, clothes and ground and I have no surgical gloves. We start trying to get him to lay still without getting blood all over us while another cowboy (I'll call him cowboy) is trying to explain exactly where on 2484 we are on his cell phone. The description involved things like, "you go past the high tension wires..." and things like that... I think to myself, "This is not going to be good if we all get run over by the cops or the EMT's trying to find us out here!"

Have you ever really wondered exactly how long it takes for EMS, sheriff, fire or anyone else to get to you when you have a problem??? Well if you live in the middle of nowhere off of 2484 between Youngsport and Salado, its too long in my opinion. If you have a heart attack you might be toast. It is at this point I realize why we have medivac choppers in Bell county. If you waited to be found AND carted off to the hospital, you just might not make it. Hats off to the guys who fly those choppers... anyway, back to the story.

In the meantime, the guy laying on the road has gotten up to his knees, and is then standing. This guy looks like he has been run over by a truck...LITERALLY. He is not in good shape, and the cowboy and I plead with him to sit back down. Thinking I need to build raport with this guy, and see how bad his head injury is, I decide to strike up a conversation. The cowboy standing with me is not exactly a man of many words, so it's up to me. I ask the guy from the road, what his name is. He replies and asks "and who the hell are you?" I tell him my name is Brian. He repeatedly tells us, "You didn't call the lawdogs did you??? No good comes from them... I'm sort of an outlaw you know." I try not to laugh, mainly worried that he'll take a swing at me for it and miss and I'll get covered in blood catching him before he hits the pavement a second time. I ask the cowboy if this was his place we were in front of and before he can answer the guy from the road says, "are you the law???" I tell him no. He says, "then why the hell do you want to know who's place this is." I tell him I am just trying to make conversation. Next the guy from the road informs me in as dignified of a manner as a man can have who looks like he has just been run over with a pretty severely bleeding head wound, "I break horses for a living!" I start thinking that maybe I should look again and see if there is a horse up the road a little further and that he in fact did fall off of a horse.

He asks, "Do you break horses??" I tell him, "No." Then he tells me, "Well shut the f*$& up you don't know what you are talking about!!!!!" I tried not to smile and told him, " well when it comes to breaking horses you just might be right on that one." The other cowboy tries not to laugh at that point... He then asks, "Well just what the HELL do you do???" I tell him, "I'm not the law, I'm just a guy who works a forty hour week to put food on the table for his family..." I didn't think telling him I was a construction litigator would really help the situation...

So the first law enforcement officer ("LEO") arrives on the scene. I walk over while cowboy is tending to the guy with the head wound. The sherrif's deputy ("LEO #1") hops out of his impala with every gumball light known to man spinning and maglight at the ready and asks "Where is the body?" I turn around back to where the guy was and said, "Well, that's him climbing over the gate..." LEO#1 is slightly shocked, this dead body is now a potential running fugitive wanted for who knows what. It wasn't quite like COPS make chases out to be on TV, but a foot race ensued out through the trees....

Cowboy and I stand at the gate and we have not a lot to do but wait. It's dark, cloudy and no stars out tonight. Just the lonesome moon peaking through the clouds watching all of this. By now most everyone else has left but me and cowboy. Another set of blinking lights comes hauling over the hill from the West. Two volunteer/off-duty EMT's show up. I walk over to them and they ask, "Where is the body?" I start wondering if the radio call went out..."psssssss . all units, dead body in road on 2484, its been a slow night so HURRY!" I tell them, "The body is up and running with a head wound and being chased by the sherrif on the other side of the gate." They look at me sort of as if to say, "I wonder how much YOU have had tonight."

Well either curiosity or the true desire to helps get the best of one of the EMTs and he heads off to follow the chase. I still can't see anything and cowboy is pretty torn up about the whole deal. At this point I find out that cowboy knows the guy with the head wound. I honestly thought cowboy was going to lose it then and there. The other EMT is somewhere down the fence line trying to get a better view of the chase and capture.

About this time, LEO#1 got his man and I notice his arms seem a bit constrained. I am not exactly sure what happened in those woods, only the moon and those two guys know for sure, but LEO#1 is not happy. He walks the guy into the bar ditch (another technical term we from Texas use) and instructs him something to the effect of, "Sit you ass down on the culvert or you will have a lot more problems than that headwound."

At this point, another sheriff shows up, along with the Salado police, and three DPS officers. By this time we have the makings of a great story, or at least the most interesting thing that has happened tonight. I ask another one of the LEO's (we can call him LEO #4) if tonight had been a slow night. He replies, "Yeah it had been slow until THIS!!!!"

The ambulance shows up and they mention that the chopper has left the pad. I start wondering exactly how long does it take a chopper to get from somewhere else, say Scott and White or the temple airport maybe, to the middle of nowhere between Youngsport and Salado on 2484 just past the high tension wire as cowboy said. An interesting debate ensues whether to let the helicopter come get this guy in handcuffs, or to waive off the chopper and drive him to the hospital. Either economy or reason wins out and they decide to drive the guy to the hospital. By this time they have determined that the guy with the head wound is majorly intoxicated. I could have told them that, but they never asked. The smell of beer in the road next to the pool of blood was a good hint.

So, as with all good crime stories, the investigation begins. LEO#1... I'll just call him LEO from here on out, asks me and cowboy if either of us saw what happened. We say no. Cowboy says he walked down when he saw all of the lights, and I go through the same story, "I was flashed down, slowed down to see what the deal was...they said there was a guy in the road....I turned on my flashers and brights, drove ahead and sure enough there was a guy in the road. Cowboy called the accident in and i started directing traffic. you (LEO#1) showed up and I turned around and the guy was making a run for it..."

LEO asks, "Well do you know why he was running?" I wanted to be a smart-ass for a second, but law school kicked in and I answered with a resounding, "I have no idea, he didn't seem too pleased that the cops were coming as he seems a bit afraid of you guys." LEO asks for my drivers license. I open my wallet and show him my Concealed Handgun License because it is on top and has all the same info. He asks me to take my license out of my wallet.... because he has bad eyes. Did he really just tell me he has bad eyesight??? Yes, he did. I quickly accommodate his request. He asks all the usual stuff, then tells me he isn't going to run MY information - like I did anything wrong- and I am sure not the source of the beer we all smell. He asks where do work and what do I do... I tell him, "I work for myself, I am an attorney but I don't do criminal law." He raises his eyebrows like he is trying to decide whether I am a snake about to bite, or maybe he's relieved that I am not a criminal defense lawyer who will start yelling the evidence from the scene have been compromised. All the time the EMT's, now there are like four or five of them, are working away on the guy with the head wound. Head wounds on the side of the road are not nearly as spectacular as the show ER makes them out to be. Never really liked that show anyway...

So investigation completed, I ask LEO if I can be released from the scene once I can get my truck out from between the gurney, the plethora of cop cars, and the ambulance and get a resounding "NO, DPS may want to talk with you as well." Cowboy is still there off to my left as I lean against the tailgate of my truck and start thinking, "This may take awhile...wish the chopper was coming to get this guy on his way...I sort of think it would be cool to see a helicopter get this guy out of here in a hurry..."

All of the DPS officers and and LEO are out surveying the pool of blood, the alcohol smell in the road and a new found set of skid marks. DPS makes a quick assessment, "Either somebody hit him, somebody swerved to miss him, or he fell out of a vehicle." One of the DPS officers said he saw some trucks up the road and asks the lead officer if he should go see if they are still there. I think to myself, "What moron shoves his buddy, or his not-so-buddy, out into the road then hangs out up the road AFTER seeing DPS hauling butt by just to let DPS catch you 20 minutes later????" I think that is a losing idea, and I guess so does the lead DPS officer because he just says, "No, no need to chase down the trucks up the road." It's about this point where LEO asks cowboy how many he has had to drink, and he answers (and I quote) "i refused to answer..." All the officers just shake their heads. Now I realize that may be why cowboy didn't talk much, he really couldn't talk.

The army of EMT's now wants the handcuffs off the guy with the head wound. They get him to sit on a backboard they have laid on the gurney. The guy says, "I don't want on that #*#$!" and "I don't need #*$&^!" They get him to lay down and begin strapping him to the back board. I realize that's a pretty smart idea, as they don't want him getting up and trying to get out of the ambulance. Being strapped to that is a lot worse than being in handcuffs in my estimation. So they wheel him off to the ambulance.

Now I get to chat with DPS. The lead officer, and I have no idea what his name is, asks me what I saw. I tell him, "I was flashed down, slowed down to see what the deal was. They said there was a guy in the road. I turned on my flashers and brights, drove ahead and sure enough there was a guy in the road. Cowboy called the accident in and I started directing traffic. LEO#1 showed up and I turned around and the guy was making a run for it." DPS asks, "Well, do you know why he was running?" I roll my eyes in my mind and say, "No... I am just glad I didn't run over him, or kill myself trying to miss him." We talk a bit more and the younger DPS officer comes back. He tells the senior officer and me "The guy in the ambulance just said his buddies and him got into a fight and someone pushed him out of a green Chevrolet truck as it was going down the road." Looks like the senior DPS officer called this one. I wonder to myself just how many times has he seen this before. The young DPS officer turns to cowboy, and asks if he knows anyone who drives a green Chevrolet truck. Cowboy says, "Yeah I do........ there is one parked in my driveway." The senior DPS officer looks at me and says, "Son you are free to go."

I leave wondering if Cowboy spent the night in jail. Only the moon knows for sure, well and all the officers I guess.

RANDOM Dream (Yes, these do happen a LOT during pregnancy!)

2009-08-19T05:32:00.004-05:00

So I was just having this dream. (I woke up because: a- I had to use the restroom, b- Creighton then started kicking, and finally c-I was hungry. So I am currently eating some cereal and writing...)

In my dream it was the first day of school and I was talking to my kids about how we line up in the classroom and how we walk in the hallway (to make sure I was super clear to them about expectations). When I was reminding the class to give me their attention, I bent over a tiny bit, and touched a kiddo on the hand to get his undivided attention. When I did that, I saw a flash of light and I fainted. Of course in my dream, I came around really quickly and decided that I needed to go to the nurse since I am pregnant and all in the dream. I told the class, through tears that I was fine, but I needed to go to the nurse. So, I handed my kids off to a para-pro who magically appeared in my classroom, and headed to the nurse alone. I got there and she had a chemo patient checking in with her, (?) along with the patients two vicious cats. Seriously- the cats started biting me and everything! I had to dash out of her office even though I was just recovering from fainting. Finally the cats and the patient left, and I went in to see the nurse.

She kind of dismissed me and had me take a tums and drink some water. I asked her, "Don't you at least think I should call my doctor and tell him what happened?" She didn't, so I resolved that I could tell him at my upcoming appointment. I was trudging back to my room (which I got to via a large mall...I know random- a dream), when I ran into my dog daisy who was loose. I hooked her onto a lease that materialized in my pocket and we started to walk home so that I could put her away. About halfway home, I realized that I would never be able to pick my kids up from lunch in time if I took Daisy home, so I turned around with Daisy and she was not cooperating, so I picked her up and tucked her nicely in my backpack and headed back to my classroom. I let Daisy out in my classroom, looked at my new watch and saw that I had only 5 minutes to figure out where to put Daisy and to pick up my kids in time. I started to freak out internally thinking, "I can't do this, it is going to set such bad expectations for me to be late on the first day of school to pick up the kids- I mean wow- I already fainted AND cried in front of them...great, now I'm going to be late too!"

At that moment the funniest thing happened in my dream- I mean this has never happened to me, and is the whole point of this blog.

In my dream, I said to myself- "Hey Laura, this is a dream- you can make it do whatever you want!"

So, I then stopped time, made a run for Daisy appear in our school playground, took her down with me and dropped her safely off. (She healed without a leash the entire time and for those of you who know Daisy, she does NOT do that!) I then walked into school, had a spritz of perfume hit me as I walked through the door to freshen me up, and picked up the kids perfectly on time. I also felt wonderful- no effect from the previous fainting spell!

CRAZY! It just cracked me up when I woke up that I told myself in the dream- hey make it end how you want to! Just thought I would type this random story up- maybe something like this has happened to you in a dream? Where you felt like you could control it? Let me know!

"All this beauty, we traveled all night, we drank the ocean dry, and watched the sunrise..." -All This Beauty, The Weepies

2009-08-03T21:07:00.014-05:00

View of wildflowers through the train window

So...the very late blog. Lots has been going on! Brian and I got back from our cruise to Alaska last week and it was fabulous, so I'll start with that!

We flew to Anchorage, spent the night, then took a train (very fun) to our port and boarded our ship. The train ride was beautiful, and we saw more of Alaska that way. Everything was so lush and flowers bloom EVERYWHERE. In Anchorage, they have them hanging from the streetlights, it's quite picturesque! We met a nice couple on the train and enjoyed talking with them as they were our age and had been to Alaska before.

The ship was lovely, and just like a really nice hotel. It was definitely nicer than our Carnival cruise (And we really enjoyed that one too!). This time we went on Princess and we loved it! Honestly, the food tasted just as good to us as the food on Carnival. I had to pace myself with the multiple course meals...it's very easy to overeat! We were at sea the first few days, which was relaxing. We got a mini-suite this time and it had a balcony, so we enjoyed watching the scenery/cooling down by stepping outside!

Here's a shot of a small glacier we saw from our balcony!

Our first port of call was Skagway, and it was my favorite town! Probably because it was tiny, and easy to find my way around, but also it was what I thought a little town in Alaska would be like! While we were there, I went shopping and then on a bus tour that went into Canada. It was beautiful! I went with some of the other gals on the trip, and Brian went and hiked up in the mountains with his buddy Hugh. They had a blast!

This is a shot I took while on the bus tour. As you can see it is just gorgeous! It was probably in the upper 50's temperature wise.

Our next port was Juneau, and I loved it as well! The city, I could take or leave, it was just a city. Although I did see Palin's former governor's mansion...from a distance as we traveled to get on our small boat to go whale watching. That was awesome! It was a bit bumpy on the way out and I will say that I got a bit nervous...and everyone kept asking me if I was feeling alright. I was, but Brian told me that my face was pretty ashen. I think I was just worried that all the bouncing wouldn't be good for Creighton! You can see, I'm holding my tummy in our pic to try and steady things! We saw around 8-10 Humpback whales bubble feeding and two Orcas...but the Orcas were pretty far off! We also saw a lot of bald eagles and Alaskan Seagulls!

Here I am holding on to Creighton...and trying to stay warm with Brian!

A super cute mamma bear we saw at Mendenhall Glacier. One of her cubs was high up in the tree above her sleeping, while she was getting some food!

This is a waterfall in the forest near Mendenhall Glacier. This is a fairly new growth forest, as it was covered about 140 years ago by the Glacier. It was just beautiful! This was probably my favorite part of our trip, walking through this forest!

Our last port was Ketchikan (Catch-eh-can). This was by far, the town that was the most fun to say outloud...but my least favorite town overall. I think Ketchikan would have been better if it hadn't been pouring rain the entire day! I just put on my poncho and went with it, but by the end of the day, I was not feeling so hot and maybe my socks/shoes were full of water! We went up to the Totem Pole National Forest, which was pretty nifty, but also pretty wet. The totem poles are awesome, I just wish I had gone on a tour. We decided to do a self guided tour, but I missed all the stories that would have been told (or I imagine would have been told) if we'd had a guide. I also did some shopping with Hugh's wife, Brittney and I found a cute onesie for Creighton that has moose on it. It says, "I Moose Have a Hug" I know it's cheesy, but it's pretty cute! Hah!

We finished our cruise with a few more days at sea, beautiful weather, and great food! I actually saw two dolphins playing in the wake of the ship as we were sailing, but I wasn't near my camera so I couldn't snap a picture. They were very cute!

Overall it was a wonderful vacation and a great time to kick back with Brian and relax! I'm so glad we went! The last morning of the cruise I woke up when the sun was rising as we were sailing, and was amazed by how peaceful it was. I sat and watched the sun come up...then I drew the curtains and hopped back into bed!

If you get a chance to visit Alaska- do! You won't be disappointed!

Next blog: Update on Creighton's nursery...

"The promise of you it sleeps in the air, the air that I breathe, and I know that it's true don't have to convince myself to believe..." -Edwin McCain

2009-07-07T22:13:00.007-05:00

Well, this post started out with Sirena in mind (probably b/c this kind of stuff was part of her major..), but then it dawned on me that many of my friends are much more techo savvy than I am and consistently post pictures from the web on their blog with no problem. I however, have problems. I wanted to post some cute outfits I got, but I do not know how to get a picture from a website and transfer it to my blog. I've tried. Apparently cut and paste do not work in my blog like I thought they would. I would greatly appreciate any assistance in this matter!

On another note, if you've never seen THE CLEANER on A&E, you should. It's my favorite summer show. Their new season always starts in the summer and goes into the fall, and it's nice b/c then there is actually a show with some depth on to watch in the summer! It comes on at 9:00 on Tuesday nights. Check it out. I've watched it since season one, pilot episode, and I'm really glad it's in season two! A&E shows reruns all the time, so you can catch up on what you missed and I think they have the full episodes on their website as well.

We also had our official ultrasound on Monday and EVERYTHING looked healthy! SOOOO awesome! The specialist who was our second opinion on John's abnormalities did this ultrasound for us as well. He is the head of obstetrics at Scott & White, so it felt good to get an "all clear" from him! We just continue to be super thankful and are even more excited! I'm starting to countdown until December 15th, and it is 119 days now until Dday! I'm also pacing myself on buying stuff, b/c of course I wanted to go on shopping spree (on behalf of Creighton) after we got the good news. Instead, I bought an "It's a boy!" sticker for the scrapbook/journal thing I am making. I can't help but think that a girl might appreciate the sentiment more, but hey, I'm sure Creighton will like it too!

Here's some of Creighton's most recent pics:

Another profile shot:

Isn't he precious?! Wow, the ultrasound was sooo cool- We could see his individual fingers moving and his toes, his ventricals in his heart functioning properly, etc. Amazing!

Now, be forewarned, the following is a "graphic picture" It's the "He's a boy shot"...so if you'd rather not see it, don't look! (I only say this for those who were shocked by the daisy's stitches pic in a past post!)

And the name...

2009-07-01T19:36:00.004-05:00

Ok, so we have been talking about names a little since about week 12, so we've been turning this name over in our minds for some time, but last night (I was so excited about knowing we were having a boy of course I wanted to think about names!) we decided on a name...like 99% decided. I had to leave a little loop hole in case I missed an incredible name out there!

Creighton James Carroll

We like it because it is unique and original (the first name...in case you were wondering) and James is sturdy and biblical. It's not connected to anyone we know, but there was a notable general during WWII with the name Creighton Abrams. (When I found that out, I understood why the name came to Brian's mind!) I haven't found the name in any baby name books (I only own one though), so I feel confident it won't be a name you hear all the time!

I wasn't sold initially at 12 weeks when we first talked about the name, but once I realized that Creighton was a lot like Clayton just a different beginning sound, it didn't seem so out there to me! I also thought it was funny that Brian came up with the more "hippie" sounding name out of the two of us! It was totally a name I would have come up with and he would have been iffy about. The role reversal was funny for me! Anyways, that will be it for a while on baby Creighton. I'll probably update you after my next ultrasound this coming Monday!

I am also excited that Stephanie is coming to visit and spend the 4th of July with us!

"These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break...then you'll know how it was meant to be..." -10,000 Maniacs, These Are Days

2009-06-30T17:58:00.011-05:00

Baby Boy Carroll!

From what we could tell today, we are having a baby boy! (We were given a 90% accuracy on that...but Brian and I are pretty sold on it...I mean there was definitely something there!) It was a bit tricky to tell at first b/c he had the umbilical cord between his legs and he was in a breech position. Thankfully, he moved a little later, and we had a clearer shot! We'll confirm on Monday at our next ultrasound!

The BEST news though is that EVERYTHING looked super healthy! I mean huge relief. Of course I cried because I was so thankful and Brian just grinned ear to ear! I had some serious issues sleeping last night waiting for this appointment, and I had major upper back pain due to tension...so the back pain has gone away now, and I have some lingering neck pain, but NOTHING like last night! (I'd say my stress levels have gone down, which has to be good for our little one!)

We are just so thankful that everything looks normal! We saw his heart and all of the chambers looked great. Russ (my doctor) also measured and he was measuring perfectly for 16 weeks. We checked out his brain and it is all where it should be, as well as his nuchuel fold, which also appeared normal. The vein and 2 arteries that run through the umbilical cord were all there and functioning properly...so basically everything looks great!

Brian and I are really excited and after next week's appointment on Monday (the official check for everything) we should be "in the clear"! The great news is that it is looking like everything will be ok this go round!

We're going to start looking at names pretty seriously and come to a decision shortly, so of course I'll keep you updated on that one as well!

I'm just so thankful! Thank you for all of your prayers, text messages and thoughts, they are HUGELY appreciated!

"We never walk alone, this is our hope..." -Natalie Grant, Our Hope Endures

2009-06-28T21:38:00.004-05:00

So I've been thinking a lot about trust lately. Trusting God that is. My conundrum is that many people seem to think that trusting God means trusting that everything is going to be ok, but that's faulty b/c you can trust your heart out and then things aren't ok.

I guess when I trust another trustworthy person I am trusting that no matter what occurs, they won't (as far as it is in their power) do anything to betray or hurt me on purpose. Of course the human element of not being perfect gets in there and it doesn't always work out that way.

When it comes to God, I seemed to fall into that same line of faulty thinking. a+b always= c. If I trust, then obviously things will be ok. I don't know why I want to think like that other than I really want everything to be ok when I go to the doctor on Tuesday for my check up. Upon further reflection (as I was walking/attempting to jog for a few minutes this evening) I came to my senses and realized that trusting God doesn't mean just believing that everything will be ok. (As much as I would like it to be.) But instead, it means trusting that no matter what the situation may be, that God is there right along side me, (I mean technically the holy spirit is even inside of me interceding on my behalf...so that's pretty close) feeling with me and sustaining me. Comforting in many ways yes, but man I sure would appreciate a foolproof 100% guarantee that everything will be ok with our baby.

Fact is, I don't get that. What would my faith be if there wasn't the element of the unknown? Could I really call it faith then? I think no. The unknown gives me the opportunity to trust. Not in an outcome but in God's love for me.

Two weeks ago I was asked last minute at church to sit in on the Sr. High Sunday School with the youth minister b/c two of the regular adults (who I know) had to leave last minute. I went along with another lady from my Sunday School class, and I was amazed and the topic they were grappling with. The study that day was on Prayer, which on the surface might sound pretty cut and dry. But instead of going with the easy parts of prayer, Jeff, the youth minister started off with a lot of questions. "How come a child is born with a life threatening malformation, everyone prays, and still the baby dies, yet, in another room of the hospital a 9 year old is diagnosed with cancer, everyone prays, and when a follow up exam is completed weeks later, there is no trace of cancer in the child's body? Why did one child live and another die? Was that God's will? Were some people's prayers better than others?" I couldn't believe Jeff was asking high school kids the same questions I grappled with last summer! Why does prayer "work" sometimes and "not" others?

A discussion followed and I was surprised that so many of the guys spoke up. They had all sorts of interesting ideas. Some of them seemed solid, and others I disagreed with. A few girls shared and somewhere along the way (after other adults had joined the discussion) out of my mouth pops, "I guess it goes back to simply trusting in God's love for us, regardless of the outcome. I think it's possible that we just won't understand everything that happens to us." Now I had a lot more on my mind, but it was really just more questions, and time was running out. So, for two weeks I have been asking myself, what does it mean to trust in God's love for me?

It certainly doesn't mean thinking that everything will be ok, b/c if that was the case, I couldn't really trust anymore. Like I said before, I think it just means trusting that God is right here with us, in this broken, imperfect world. Yes, sometimes he changes things and I know he can, but he doesn't always do it in the way I expect or want or even recognize.

He gave us such a gift after having John, those 30 minutes or so that John lived and we were able to hold him and pray for him, and love him in person. Wow. I never thought that God could bring something so good out of a situation that was so horrible. I was honestly completely inept to pray for anything once I was faced with the situation. I froze when I got all that information about John. I didn't know how to ask God to do anything, all I could muster was for him to be with me during the process and to guide me in the decisions I had to make with Brian. Well, God definitely was there and gave us a beautiful moment of grace and joy that I will never forget and will always be thankful for.

This time, I don't feel as inept to pray for our child. I sure am asking that God would help our baby to grow healthfully, but I also am asking for God to just be with me during the process, and help me to trust him, not for the outcome, but trust in his character and his love for me and this kiddo I have growing inside of me. His love far exceeds mine, and I have a lot of love for this baby.

I will certainly let you know how things go after this Tuesday (the appointment is at 10). I've just been thinking a lot lately and wanted to share. I'm thankful to have a God who is trustworthy.

"You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life...ooooh, see that girl, watch that scene, diggin the dancing queen..." -ABBA

2009-06-27T21:51:00.005-05:00

I just returned from watching the BEST feel good modern musical of our time... MAMMA MIA!

I absolutely LOVED IT! IF YOU GET THE CHANCE... GO SEE IT!

I went with my mom and some extended family, and let me tell you, I danced my heart out at the end when they did the sing along. I LOVED IT! Maybe I almost knocked my pregnant self over into the lower row of seats thanks to my excitement fueled by the fun music...but thankfully my Mom and Lori caught me! I jived with the best of them and sang really loudly. I think my mom and I singing might have prompted the people who were sitting behind us to find new seats for the second act, but oh well. This is one of those musicals that is MEANT to be sung by the audience...

They were quiet creative with their set, and everyone had lovely voices! We were on the first balcony and I was a bit concerned that we wouldn't see well, but it was just fine! The costumes were so fun, and the dancing was amazing. I remembered why I LOVED doing theater in high school!

Now I really want to go see WICKED in August...anyone else up for going??? Let me know! I think theatrical events need to be a part of my life on a semi-regular basis!

After we finished at Bass Concert Hall, we headed to The Melting Pot (which none of us had ever been to) and had a fabulous meal! I LOVE FONDUE as well...

My favorite had to be the strawberries and white chocolate amaretto fondue, but everything else was tasty as well!

We had:
course one
quatrro formagio fondue
fiesta fondue
with bread, green apples and vegetables
my favorite was the green apples with the quattro formagio fondue

course two
Salad with fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, basil and a delightful balsamic vinaigrette

course three
all sorts of crazy tasty meat
shrimp diablo (which I avoided)
sun dried tomato chicken
lemoncello steak
fillet minion
orange fennel pork loin (my fave!)
and potatoes (that I couldn't quite get cooked enough)
broccoli and mushrooms with several dipping sauces (two of which were Gorgonzola based and I sadly could not consume b/c that cheese was not pasteurized.)

course four (amazing)
white chocolate amaretto fondue
turtle milk chocolate fondue
strawberries
cheesecake
marshmallows (coated in tasty stuff)
brownies
pound cake
banana slices

It was a great day, and now I am happy to crawl into bed and sleep!

"Wake up sleepyhead, I think the sun's a little brighter today..." -Dive In, DMB

2009-06-02T07:53:00.006-05:00

So, I've been waiting for what seems like forever to post about expecting a little one and I finally get to because today I am officially 12 weeks along! This is a great shot I got at my Dr's appointment yesterday! I think I have told almost everyone who reads my blog, and if I haven't told you, I sure tired to get in touch to let you know what was going on!

Everything looked great (as far as we can tell at this point in the pregnancy), so I am hopeful and excited! These first weeks have been a bit stressful for me, so I am trying to stop the worrying process, and just be thankful for how things are right now. I do think I will feel MUCH better after we get past the 20 week mark...but hey only 8 more weeks/two more months to go on that one! I will keep you updated on the progress. We're just praying that everything continues to develop in a healthy way!

My doc is so wonderful! He knows how stressful this is (and sometimes I wonder if it is a bit stressful for him!) for me and so yesterday when I went in for my appointment, he started it off by wheeling in the ultrasound machine and saying, "Hi, we have to do this first because I kinda stole it and need to get it back!" I was super thankful b/c normally you don't get ultrasounds every time you go in. He said for the first half of my pregnancy, we would just check because he knew it would make me feel so much better. He's right, it does! Yay for a kind doctor! I mean I appreciate him so much it has crossed my mind to name a son born to us after him but Brian thought that might be a bit weird...and he's probably right. :)

I was so glad to see our little one kicking feet and waving arms and moving all over the place! It's funny to see our baby move so much b/c I can't feel any of it yet. It is very reassuring when you can feel the baby b/c then you know, hey everything's still normal in there, so I will be excited when I feel the baby move in the future!

So, that's our big news! I am just barely starting to show, which is fun, and the nausea has recently lifted, so that is a nice bonus as well! I'm about to enter the second trimester, so all looks good! PHEW!

Amazing Vegetables and Fruits

2009-05-24T08:57:00.003-05:00

I got this email from my mom and I thought it was really interesting! Yay for fresh fruit and vegetables! (Now I really feel like I need to go to the farmer's market in town and snag some of these!)

Email:

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... and YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All o f the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Avocados, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.

Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

"Everything's gonna be alright, rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye..." -Shawn Mullins, Lullaby

2009-04-27T21:04:00.009-05:00

Ok...you know you are officially an adult, when a college aged student at the local HEB asks your advise on how to pick out meat! Seriously? I was happy to help this girl understand what a split chicken breast was, but I felt profoundly older and even mother-like as she thanked me and walked away. Of course this was after we looked at her recipe together and talked about what exactly it called for. WOW. Did she scan the various people at the meat counter and I just looked appropriate to ask? Or maybe, I was just approachable. Maybe I smiled. I don't know, but I definitely had a moment in HEB the other day after this occurred. :)

Ok, update on Daisy. I've let some of you know that she came in last Thursday night with a gash in the top of her head. :( IT was bleeding, but not profusely. I proceeded to mildly freak out and Brian proceeded to stay totally calm and clean her cut out. It didn't look too deep, so I just called the vet's office. Since it was 8 pm, they did not answer, but instead offered a number to call their after care service in Killeen..who did NOT return my call, even though I told them how concerned I was on their little message machine.

Anyways, in the morning, the cut had not closed up. Brian thought she would be ok, but I was still concerned. I called the vet and told them the situation and made an appointment to come in and have it looked at after school. Turns out Daisy needed 5 stitches! So sad! She was pretty doped up after her minor surgery and couldn't exactly walk straight. She did a lot of leaning on me. I'm sure it was for comfort sake/so that she could attempt to walk a straight line. Our vet gave us a cone for Daisy to wear so that she would not mess with the stitches...I really didn't want to use it. I was able to hold off until Saturday afternoon, when Daisy finally realized that there was something on top of her head and messed with it.

Daisy on the way home...she couldn't quite figure out how this sitting on the seat thing worked...I had to pull over 2 times to reposition her!
Her sad stitches. The look a LOT better now, three days out from this pic!

Daisy resting after her surgery. She eventually came in and curled up on the couch with me as the drugs started to wear off.

Out of respect for the emotional damage that a picture of Daisy with the cone on her head might do to her, I will refrain from posting that pic. Needless to say, she learned her lesson and has not messed with it since which equals no more cone-wearing for her! :) She is recovering well, and should get her stitches out early next week! I'm sure glad I took her in! My vet did comment and say, "It kinda looks like she lost the fight" with her shaved stitched up head and all!

Some people bring home stray animals...

2009-04-11T11:04:00.003-05:00

And others (being Brian) bring home old power tool paraphernalia....I walked out to back my car out of the garage this morning only to find this monstrous new addition to our ever crowded garage...I'm sure Brian has an EXCELLENT use for it. I THINK it might be a huge air compressor. I'll let you know when I find out. Seriously?! Yes, it is a big air compressor- used to do things "like fill up the tires on your car" says Brian. Ha, welcome to our crowded garage, and yay for well-filled car tires!

"It's time to leave the past in the past and lace up a new set of shoe strings...so we can sit together side by side through amazing..." -Blue October

2009-04-05T15:36:00.011-05:00

Each year, whether I get the cd out to all my friends or not, I do make a year in the life CD, formally known as "Year in the Life of Bundy". (I always have the goal of getting it to everyone, but sadly these Cd's, like the Christmas Cards I buy each year, don't always make it.) I collect the songs throughout the year as I hear them or am reminded of songs that pertain to my current situation, and at the end of the year I have about 30 or so songs, and I am forced to pick, choose, narrow and refine my year into about 20 reflective songs. I try to give equal credit to joyous and sad occurrences in the year, but they do not always get equal play. They didn't for 2008.

So, January came bringing 2009, and I was going to share the Year in the Life 2008 CD, but just couldn't do it. It was just too much of a downer. Every time I listened to it, I cried. (Therapeutically, but still, cried none the less.) I was feeling reflective and listened to it a few weeks ago when I was folding laundry, and actually didn't cry. WOW. I thought, hey, I can actually share the songs- I really am making it. :) Great feeling! IF you would like a copy, I'd be glad to get it to you, but I didn't want to just blindly send you this CD. I mean, it ends hopefully, but it's pretty sad at some points. The first song gave me the title for this blog. I started the blog, when I was starting to cull through the songs last year. I listened to these songs a LOT this last year. Here's the final list.

Year in the Life 2008:
Walk You Home- Karmina acoustic version (I listened on repeat quite a lot)
Untitled- Simple Plan
Mark's Song- Eastmountainsouth (Credit to Jen for finding this song and getting it to me!)
It is Well With My Soul- Chris Rice (Song I woke up hearing -in my head- the morning after John was born. The link is to the history of the song I had never heard of and discovered while I was choosing songs for John's funeral. Scroll down on the link to read the history.)
Seamless- Christopher Jak (love the strings in this song)
Broken- Lifehouse
Hardtimes- Eastmountainsouth
No Bad News- Patty Griffin
Laugh So You Don't Cry- Andy Davis
Rise Above This- Seether (Good jogging song)
Awakening- Switchfoot (Another song I jogged to)
Crack the Shutters- Snow Patrol
Back to Where I Was- Eric Hutchinson
One of Those Days- Joshua Radin
Picking Up the Pieces- Blue October (actually came out post 2008, but it is too good to not include on the list, so I broke my rules and added it.)
Our Hope Endures- Natalie Grant
Only Hope- Switchfoot
Jesus' Blood- Hillsong United (Heard during communion and it was a strong reminder of the Lord's presence throughout everything and his faithfulness.)
Your Love is Extravagant- Darrell Evans (Have LOVED this song for many years)

So, the neat thing is one of my first songs for Year in the Life 2009 is entitled "Blue Skies". A lot has happened. The passage of time really does help. I really wasn't sure when my Dad told me it would- I couldn't quite believe him, but it does. God is and has been so faithful to me and I hope this CD says that.

Hi, our home is a haven for kittens now...what?

2009-04-01T20:49:00.008-05:00

And the two OTHER kittens I found on Sunday...here they are. They have a happy home too- they were adopted by a cat at Mack's house. :) So CRAZY...all these kittens! I felt horrible that I missed Camilla...but she was rather quiet when I first looked on Sunday!

"How long will I be picking up pieces, how long will I be picking up my heart?" -Blue October Picking up the Pieces

2009-03-31T23:51:00.011-05:00

The vet answered briskly, "You can treat this cat for $150 or so, or you can realize that this is a very sick kitty and take it to a shelter."

"If I take it to a shelter, will they be able to treat it?"

"Well it will need fluids probably, a fecal, a thorough exam, shots...honestly, if they see that it has parasites, they will euthanize it. Just remember, there is no right decision, so take your time deciding," the vet said as she walked back into her office completely unaffected by the weight of the decision that lay before me.

It was clear that if I wanted to talk to her about this situation any further it would be through appointment and ensuing payment only. (I really thought vets might do a bit of pro-bono work, especially for kittens that just appeared in the back of my husband's truck but evidently not at Petsmart.)

I felt the tears starting to well up in my eyes. I cradled the little grey kitten in one hand and grabbed my cell phone in the other as I turned my face away from the counter.

In my mind I was back on my couch last summer hearing the horrible news about how sick John was, and I was being asked to make an impossible decision. My doctor then had said similar words, "Either decision is a right decision." How could I decide what to do about this little kitten that somehow ended up in the back of my husband's truck? Of COURSE I wanted to spend the $150 dollars or whatever it would take to get this cat well. It could actually GET better.

Thankfully I was quite aware of my feelings (Can you say TRANSFERENCE) and I knew I wanted to help the kitten (yes because it is a living thing) but more because I wasn't able to help John. I dialed Brian's number hoping that he might pick up and tell me, "Of course, help the cat we don't plan on keeping and who might not make it after being starved since Saturday."

I was looking for someone to share in the decision making process.

He did not answer his phone- he was taking interviews all afternoon. At this point I really started to crumble. All the while thinking, "Seriously...I've had these emotions in check for what three months now...why are they so close to the surface? Why am I equating this decision with the one we had to make for John?"

The simple answer is that I will always have these feelings that connect back to John. I understand this, and I'm just ready for the time when it doesn't surprise me that I'm feeling them so deeply. I view my life through the lens of my experiences, and John is a pretty hefty experience. Still someday, I keep thinking I will find it normal that I feel so much.

Back to this kitten (who I named Camilla after Fozzy the Muppet's chicken). When Brian didn't pick up the phone I called Mack, my father-in-law who had helped me out with the other two kittens that I found on Sunday (What's the deal with stray kittens picking our house to come to?). Mack offered to come over and help me with the kitten and take it to his house to a mama cat who would adopt it. I thanked him profusely and turned around to thank the receptionist at the vet section in Petsmart. Since she had heard everything I also was going to tell her that all was taken care of...ie my story of how that occured.

Before I could speak the receptionist, Carrie, leaned forward over the counter casting a furtive look back toward the door the callous vet left through.

"Listen, my sister is a cat person and she rescues them all the time, I know she would want to take this kitten," Carrie said conspiratorially.
"Really, are you sure she would want this one?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, if she doesn't, I will take him home."

"Ok, well...wow, thank you."

We worked out the details, she explained how I should use the formula bottle I got for Camilla, and how to best get her to eat. We agreed that Carrie would call when she got off work shortly after 8.

I took Camilla home, sniffly from crying, and let Mack know I had found a home for Camilla here in town. He was wonderful about it all.

Well eight o'clock came and went and then 8:20...8:35...8:46...no phone call. I literally flipped my phone open to call Mack and tell him that Carrie must have bailed on me when my phone lit up with an unknown number!

Carrie and I agreed to meet at THE Walmart in town (that THE was for Borrego). I took my purring friend, who was looking quite perky after her substitute mother's milk bottle, and hopped in the car.

We met up with Carrie and she told me how excited she was to take the cat (I didn't tell her I had named her Camilla) home.

"Well, you certainly renewed my belief in the kindness of strangers" I said with a corniness slipping into my voice that I was not expecting.
"I do work for a vet," She laughed, "It kind of goes with my job."

We smiled and parted ways outside of the Walmart. I hope that Camilla likes her new home. I'm thankful that she has someone who will take good care of her and will feel great about investing in her health...probably at a discounted rate since she works at a vet's office. Although, I do hope she takes Camilla to see the other vet that works at Petsmart!

James Avery

2009-03-27T19:06:00.005-05:00

Current items I love from James Avery:
(I would love to actually put the pic on the blog...but I don't know how. I'm hoping Erin will give me a tutoring lesson on how to do this!)

Duo Leaf Pendant

Stylized Scroll Pendant

Wavy I Bangle Bracelet

Wavy II Bangle Bracelet

Wavy III Bangle Bracelet

Just to share...I just got the new catalog in the mail and thumbed through it while Brian and I were watching an NCIS re-run and loved these items.

"There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon..." -Iron&Wine

2009-03-22T21:28:00.007-05:00

Today I felt like my Grandmother was with me because I spent the afternoon doing some things I think she would have enjoyed! I shopped for cute plant pots to put flowers in by the front door, and planted my trial vegetable garden in two 5 gallon buckets. I do have to say that I can't imagine my Grandmother would have EVER put out 5 gallon buckets in her garden on a long term basis...she would have thought it was tacky. Honestly, I think they look kind of tacky too, but my plan is to store them behind the shed where they will get full sunlight, and appreciate the food that they will provide...in 70-90 days according to the plastic deal that come stuck into the plant pot. I also created a floral decoration for the house...something my Grandmother did quite well. So well that she had an entire walk in closet (that smelled delightfully of dried eucalyptus) dedicated to the storage of her seasonal arrangements!

But back to my 5 gallon garden. I'm trying the whole grow your own food thing on a small scale and if I do well with it, I think I'll actually plant one in the ground next season. I've been inspired to grow a little garden from a book I recently read called In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan, and I was also inspired by my Dad who has actually put a raised garden in at his house.

I'm just kind of notorious for biting off more than I can chew and I was having visions of a half acre vegetable garden (because of course I wanted to grow just about every vegetable God created) and selling my produce on the weekends at the farmer's market here in Belton that I've NEVER been to...all while wearing linen clothes that were produced without harming the earth or the workers who made them...and I realized that I needed to take a deep breath and scale back a bit. That being said, I do think I'm going to ask my father-in-law for a few more buckets to grow some cucumbers, and jalapenos, and I'd really like to grow some squash too....and maybe a little strawberry patch would be nice, but I need to be careful not to go overboard!

After I planted the two tiny bell pepper plants (and watered them thoroughly) I came inside to look at the wreath materials that I purchased today. When my mom and dad were in town last week we were sitting in the living room and my mentioned that some color would be good on the hearth. I agreed, I had been thinking about getting a wreath stand and a seasonal wreath for a a while (honestly, for over a year now, since I saw one out at my friend Megan's house, so I totally stole the idea). When I went to the store and started pricing wreaths and looking at the overall quality I was NOT impressed. At Michael's they thought $40.00 was a fair price for some plastic flowers and dried out grape vines that had been formed into wreaths! Seriously?! So, I started looking around and thought, "Hey, how hard can it really be to make a wreath?". After I combed the store, and looked at all my options, I felt like something very simple would be a good idea for my first "handmade" wreath. (The aforementioned tendency toward taking on more than is necessary reared it's enticing head...and again, I scaled back. No need to individually twist in strands of flora when you find pre-twisted strands on sale!) I also bought a bit of floral wire to secure it all. The grand total for my wreath: $12.48 I think it's pretty cute!

These items were on my list of things to do over Spring Break, and while I didn't get to the entire list (Sirena, I hope you appreciate that I made a list) I did take a good chunk out of it!

Things I accomplished over Spring Break:
1. Made a wreath
2. Decorated seasonally
3. Put all the screens on our house windows with the help of my kind parents
4. Cleaned out the garage with Brian and Mack
5. Set up Brian's man cave room/shed outside with items cleaned out from the garage
6. Spent time with my parents
7. Spent time with Erica :) Yay for Salado and laughing a bunch!
8. Spent time with Mack...we love Thai food!
9. Tried the ONLY Thai restaurant in the greater Temple/Belton area and liked it!
10. Got a massage and convinced Brian to get a professional massage as well. AWESOME.
11. Blogged
12. Got fabric for another quilting project :)
13. Really washed my car...until it shined
14. Went on a search for stationary so I could write Jen back. No store here has cute stationary. Paperdoodles has two sets of traditional stationary in oh so exciting white or the exhilarating cream color options. I've still got to find some!
15. Drank coffee outside and finished a good book
16. Cleaned out Brian's study/made it functional again/not an eyesore
17. Slept enough
18. Mailed a book to my cousin Jennifer's family on the periodic table...it was actually a cute and entertaining book on the periodic table...
19. cleaned off the back porch
20. Pulled a TON of clover out of the yard...I'm trying to avoid the use of pesticides on our lawn...I'm about to give up that battle though b/c there is STILL clover everywhere...we'll see. I'll give it two more days of work and then we will use some chemicals sparingly if necessary.
21. Brought Brian dinner multiple night b/c he had to work late. Story of his life right now.
22. Watched Terms of Endearment. Enjoyed it. Cried, but in a good way of course. I just can't believe I had never seen it.
23. Cleaned out my closet and had a heart to heart with myself about the benefits of a healthy vegetable rich, unprocessed diet. I had a lot of clothing to donate...
24. Played with Daisy and her new stuffing-free toy a flat squirrel that she is now obsessed with!
25. Sat on the couch and thought about life with Daisy
26. Discovered Crosby, Stills and Nash WOW- I LOVE THEM!
27. Made fajitas on the grill for the first time in my life. They were tasty...even if they were a bit charred around the edges.
28. Washed a lot of windows.
29. Celebrated Brandon's Birthday
30. Discovered that I DO NOT like the taste of Wedding Cake Martinis
31. Made cookies from scratch
32. Discovered Organic Red Apple Tea by Tazo It is made with Rooibus and is oh so tasty!

I did more, but I feel like I am rambling...and even though that is the point of a blog in a way, I'm going to leave my list at that. It was a good, productive, and relaxing break, and now I'm ready to head back to work and get back on my normal schedule!

Mudding anyone?

2009-03-15T20:33:00.015-05:00

My friend Tab and her husband Stu invited me and Brian to go four wheeling with them and their boys. Having never done this before, I wasn't sure what to expect, but figured it would be a good experience to have. I don't particularly like to get dirty...but I can handle it in the right context. I chose the jeep to ride in that had windows. (The yellow one.)

Brian couldn't come because he is swamped at work and had to go up and play catch up. He's been doing a lot of that lately, but I can't fault him because when the work is there, you just have to do it. He missed out.

I got a bit muddy, but only because Connor (In picture above) and I tossed some mud back and forth at each other. I can't remember the last time I purposefully stuck my hand in mud! It was squishier than I remembered. I recommend the experience... somewhat bumpy, but what other opportunity do you have to play in mud as an adult? I will say that as soon as we got back to their house, I went and scrubbed the dirt out from underneath my nails...

Oh Daisy!

2009-03-14T12:17:00.003-05:00

So our dog Daisy thinks that our bed, is her bed...cute, but not the dog hair in the sheets...I've got to figure something out!

"But Mary treasured up these things and pondered them in her heart." -Luke 2:19

2009-03-13T09:25:00.005-05:00

Wow...it's March and I haven't posted since November. We'll see if I get any better at this.

Yesterday, I had quite the experience. For the THIRD time this year, I ran into problems parking in the far side non-parking lot at work. I managed to get myself stuck in the mud. Neat. Embarrassing. And funny. I laughed right after I realized what I had done. My friend Tab has done a thorough job of documenting the process of getting my trail blazer unstuck. Check it out: http://writeon-psg.blogspot.com/ You will laugh :)

It's funny how moments sneak up on you. Last night Brian went to bed, and I stayed up late to watch some tivoed shows. When they were over, I got up to turn off the lights. I looked over at our sweet dog Daisy, sprawled across "her" chair, flicked off the lights and listened to my feet pad toward our bedroom and I thought about how thankful I was to be right where I am. I have so much to be thankful for, and I took stock of that last night as I laid down next to Brian.

Late January or early February, I really felt this internal shift happen. Well, I guess I didn't so much as feel the shift, but notice after the fact that it had occurred. I didn't think it would ever come. I thought I was going to carry around sadness and pain on such a deep level for the rest of my life. I had really become accustomed to having that general dull ache underneath everything I did, I was even becoming somewhat OK with it, starting to accept it as my norm. Anyways, I was just driving around town running some errands a few months ago and I head a fun song on the radio. I rolled the windows down and I was singing and smiling and just generally feel great. Then it hit me- where was my sadness underneath this great feeling? It really just wasn't pervasively there! I made a mental note, and then stepped back into the moment of feeling great.

I know that time passing since everything with John has helped, but I'm not entirely sure what else has, aside from friends prayers, and processing over and over and over again everything that has happened. Perhaps somewhere inside of me I finally feel like I have looked at the situation from enough angles. Maybe it helps that Brian and I are trying to have a baby again, I'm not sure. I am thankful though. Very thankful. I just feel a lightness that I haven't felt in a long time, like I'm not dragging EVERYTHING around with me anymore. The experiences are all still there, and from time to time I do think about it all, but it's just not deabilitating anymore.

This Lenten season has been interesting for me. Instead of giving something up (which for me seems to be easier) I took something on. I decided to really make a go of prayer. I used to think I understood prayer when I was younger. As I've gotten older, it just hasn't seemed as easy to me. I have a lot more questions about it all. Do I believe that prayer impacts events, yes- do I have any idea how exactly- no. I used to think I got that part, but now all I can really do is trust and hope that someday I will "live into the answer" at least a little bit. I have felt more connected with God through these Lenten days. I haven't been perfect and on schedule entirely with praying. I don't really think there needs to be an exact schedule though, just realness and frequency. So that's what I'm going for: frequently being real before God, and of course that can't help but spill out in my interactions with other people. I've got a lot to learn, and massive areas to grow in, but I'm happy and thankfully plodding along in that general direction, hopeful again.

"I beg you...to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer..." -Rainer Maria Rilke

"..all around reminders of you are everywhere I go..." - Wintersong, Sarah McLachlan

2008-11-21T23:00:00.007-06:00

I've been thinking about John a lot lately. I'm sure it's because I lost this baby two weeks ago and because it is the week John would have been due if everything had gone well. Last night, I just couldn't get the memory of holding him out of my head. He was so tiny. I could cradle his body in one hand and part of my wrist. He was amazing, even though he didn't grow the way he should have. His fingers and little hands, his timy toes and rocker-bottomed feet. It is just such a miracle when children are born healthy.

Brian was great and just listened to me last night. He didn't try to make it any better by saying anything other than he loved me. I'm really glad that I've been upfront about how I feel this go round. It works much better that way. It's simple but being true to myself and my emotions and not trying to regulate or restrict anything makes me feel much better.

I'm so thankful that I had that time with John. The weight of his death is still with me, but it's not oppressive, it's just there. It's funny how I miss him. I didn't get to know him deeply, to see his personality develop. I miss him and the possibilities and the connection that was severed. The feeling isn't all pervasive like it was this summer, it just catches me off guard sometimes.

I was just walking down the hallway at school and heard a co-worker talking about her child, and I felt a physical pull inside of me. SERIOUSLY? I guess it was the want that I feel. Emotions still crop up that I'm not expecting. It seems that a lot of emotions have become fresh again these past few weeks. I get angry when I hear people complain about their kids. Just be thankful. I know it's not realistic to think that you will always be thrilled with the choices that your kids make, but talk to your spouse or good friend about your frustrations, not people you barely know WHILE your child is standing next to you! Again, SERIOUSLY?

I aslo received an email from a former student last week expressing her sadness about John and her hope that someday we would have a baby. While I appreciated the sentiment, it was another one of those moments when my emotions rose so quickly. It was weird because the email came right after I miscarried with our second child. It was just a lot.

Loosing another child, however soon in the pregnancy, is a blow. I can be thankful though that I didn't have to make a choice in this scenario. That was the worst. This time, miscarrying was a strangly freeing sensation because there was nothing I could do.

The bleeding reminds me of bleeding I had after I gave birth to John. In some ways it seems unfair to this child, my blighted ovum. Maybe I should feel better because that means the baby didn't form, and I do in a way, but I also don't. I mean what happens with that? Is there a soul? If the body didn't form was it really a child? I'm sure God doesn't let anyone fall through the cracks, I just wish I had a definative answer in the here and now.

It all makes me wonder, have I fully processed John's death? Probably not. Will I always feel this way when I come in contact with the loss of a baby- mine or not? Shoot, death in any form just leads me back to him. Is that because it's a fresh experience or will he always come to the forefront of my mind with anything associated with loss?

Maybe its because I just feel deeply on the spectrum of emotions, whatever emotion it is. I mean I still tear up when I think about losing my Grandaddy in third grade and can laugh when I think of him letting me drive his golf cart. I mean seriously, I remember the smell of his golf cart garage... I guess when someone means a lot to me, they're just grafted in.

John's graft has definately taken. (Not that I doubted it would.) I am thankful to know that he's really loved the best that he could ever be, and is in a place of such love and community that his heart must overflow with a sense of belonging and acceptance. I wonder if he knows to look forward to meeting me someday. I am certainly going to relish in that moment.

There is so much more going on in the world than my personal tragedy, and I truly understand that, and I also feel this profoundly.

So, I've Started a Blog

2008-11-21T22:31:00.000-06:00

Well, I've been thinking about starting a little blog just as a place to share whatever I want to. I have fond memories of blogging thanks to Sirena on the 311 Singleton's blog from college, so I hope that this will work out well for me too! This is just a test so that I can see how it all works. It's been a while!