"All this beauty, we traveled all night, we drank the ocean dry, and watched the sunrise..." -All This Beauty, The Weepies

View of wildflowers through the train window

So...the very late blog. Lots has been going on! Brian and I got back from our cruise to Alaska last week and it was fabulous, so I'll start with that!

We flew to Anchorage, spent the night, then took a train (very fun) to our port and boarded our ship. The train ride was beautiful, and we saw more of Alaska that way. Everything was so lush and flowers bloom EVERYWHERE. In Anchorage, they have them hanging from the streetlights, it's quite picturesque! We met a nice couple on the train and enjoyed talking with them as they were our age and had been to Alaska before.

The ship was lovely, and just like a really nice hotel. It was definitely nicer than our Carnival cruise (And we really enjoyed that one too!). This time we went on Princess and we loved it! Honestly, the food tasted just as good to us as the food on Carnival. I had to pace myself with the multiple course meals...it's very easy to overeat! We were at sea the first few days, which was relaxing. We got a mini-suite this time and it had a balcony, so we enjoyed watching the scenery/cooling down by stepping outside!

Here's a shot of a small glacier we saw from our balcony!

Our first port of call was Skagway, and it was my favorite town! Probably because it was tiny, and easy to find my way around, but also it was what I thought a little town in Alaska would be like! While we were there, I went shopping and then on a bus tour that went into Canada. It was beautiful! I went with some of the other gals on the trip, and Brian went and hiked up in the mountains with his buddy Hugh. They had a blast!

This is a shot I took while on the bus tour. As you can see it is just gorgeous! It was probably in the upper 50's temperature wise.

Our next port was Juneau, and I loved it as well! The city, I could take or leave, it was just a city. Although I did see Palin's former governor's mansion...from a distance as we traveled to get on our small boat to go whale watching. That was awesome! It was a bit bumpy on the way out and I will say that I got a bit nervous...and everyone kept asking me if I was feeling alright. I was, but Brian told me that my face was pretty ashen. I think I was just worried that all the bouncing wouldn't be good for Creighton! You can see, I'm holding my tummy in our pic to try and steady things! We saw around 8-10 Humpback whales bubble feeding and two Orcas...but the Orcas were pretty far off! We also saw a lot of bald eagles and Alaskan Seagulls!

Here I am holding on to Creighton...and trying to stay warm with Brian!

A super cute mamma bear we saw at Mendenhall Glacier. One of her cubs was high up in the tree above her sleeping, while she was getting some food!


This is a waterfall in the forest near Mendenhall Glacier. This is a fairly new growth forest, as it was covered about 140 years ago by the Glacier. It was just beautiful! This was probably my favorite part of our trip, walking through this forest!

Our last port was Ketchikan (Catch-eh-can). This was by far, the town that was the most fun to say outloud...but my least favorite town overall. I think Ketchikan would have been better if it hadn't been pouring rain the entire day! I just put on my poncho and went with it, but by the end of the day, I was not feeling so hot and maybe my socks/shoes were full of water! We went up to the Totem Pole National Forest, which was pretty nifty, but also pretty wet. The totem poles are awesome, I just wish I had gone on a tour. We decided to do a self guided tour, but I missed all the stories that would have been told (or I imagine would have been told) if we'd had a guide. I also did some shopping with Hugh's wife, Brittney and I found a cute onesie for Creighton that has moose on it. It says, "I Moose Have a Hug" I know it's cheesy, but it's pretty cute! Hah!

We finished our cruise with a few more days at sea, beautiful weather, and great food! I actually saw two dolphins playing in the wake of the ship as we were sailing, but I wasn't near my camera so I couldn't snap a picture. They were very cute!

Overall it was a wonderful vacation and a great time to kick back with Brian and relax! I'm so glad we went! The last morning of the cruise I woke up when the sun was rising as we were sailing, and was amazed by how peaceful it was. I sat and watched the sun come up...then I drew the curtains and hopped back into bed!

If you get a chance to visit Alaska- do! You won't be disappointed!

Next blog: Update on Creighton's nursery...

"The promise of you it sleeps in the air, the air that I breathe, and I know that it's true don't have to convince myself to believe..." -Edwin McCain

Well, this post started out with Sirena in mind (probably b/c this kind of stuff was part of her major..), but then it dawned on me that many of my friends are much more techo savvy than I am and consistently post pictures from the web on their blog with no problem. I however, have problems. I wanted to post some cute outfits I got, but I do not know how to get a picture from a website and transfer it to my blog. I've tried. Apparently cut and paste do not work in my blog like I thought they would. I would greatly appreciate any assistance in this matter!

On another note, if you've never seen THE CLEANER on A&E, you should. It's my favorite summer show. Their new season always starts in the summer and goes into the fall, and it's nice b/c then there is actually a show with some depth on to watch in the summer! It comes on at 9:00 on Tuesday nights. Check it out. I've watched it since season one, pilot episode, and I'm really glad it's in season two! A&E shows reruns all the time, so you can catch up on what you missed and I think they have the full episodes on their website as well.

We also had our official ultrasound on Monday and EVERYTHING looked healthy! SOOOO awesome! The specialist who was our second opinion on John's abnormalities did this ultrasound for us as well. He is the head of obstetrics at Scott & White, so it felt good to get an "all clear" from him! We just continue to be super thankful and are even more excited! I'm starting to countdown until December 15th, and it is 119 days now until Dday! I'm also pacing myself on buying stuff, b/c of course I wanted to go on shopping spree (on behalf of Creighton) after we got the good news. Instead, I bought an "It's a boy!" sticker for the scrapbook/journal thing I am making. I can't help but think that a girl might appreciate the sentiment more, but hey, I'm sure Creighton will like it too!

Here's some of Creighton's most recent pics:

Another profile shot:

Isn't he precious?! Wow, the ultrasound was sooo cool- We could see his individual fingers moving and his toes, his ventricals in his heart functioning properly, etc. Amazing!

Now, be forewarned, the following is a "graphic picture" It's the "He's a boy shot"...so if you'd rather not see it, don't look! (I only say this for those who were shocked by the daisy's stitches pic in a past post!)

And the name...

Ok, so we have been talking about names a little since about week 12, so we've been turning this name over in our minds for some time, but last night (I was so excited about knowing we were having a boy of course I wanted to think about names!) we decided on a name...like 99% decided. I had to leave a little loop hole in case I missed an incredible name out there!

Creighton James Carroll

We like it because it is unique and original (the first name...in case you were wondering) and James is sturdy and biblical. It's not connected to anyone we know, but there was a notable general during WWII with the name Creighton Abrams. (When I found that out, I understood why the name came to Brian's mind!) I haven't found the name in any baby name books (I only own one though), so I feel confident it won't be a name you hear all the time!

I wasn't sold initially at 12 weeks when we first talked about the name, but once I realized that Creighton was a lot like Clayton just a different beginning sound, it didn't seem so out there to me! I also thought it was funny that Brian came up with the more "hippie" sounding name out of the two of us! It was totally a name I would have come up with and he would have been iffy about. The role reversal was funny for me! Anyways, that will be it for a while on baby Creighton. I'll probably update you after my next ultrasound this coming Monday!

I am also excited that Stephanie is coming to visit and spend the 4th of July with us!

"These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break...then you'll know how it was meant to be..." -10,000 Maniacs, These Are Days

Baby Boy Carroll!

From what we could tell today, we are having a baby boy! (We were given a 90% accuracy on that...but Brian and I are pretty sold on it...I mean there was definitely something there!) It was a bit tricky to tell at first b/c he had the umbilical cord between his legs and he was in a breech position. Thankfully, he moved a little later, and we had a clearer shot! We'll confirm on Monday at our next ultrasound!

The BEST news though is that EVERYTHING looked super healthy! I mean huge relief. Of course I cried because I was so thankful and Brian just grinned ear to ear! I had some serious issues sleeping last night waiting for this appointment, and I had major upper back pain due to tension...so the back pain has gone away now, and I have some lingering neck pain, but NOTHING like last night! (I'd say my stress levels have gone down, which has to be good for our little one!)

We are just so thankful that everything looks normal! We saw his heart and all of the chambers looked great. Russ (my doctor) also measured and he was measuring perfectly for 16 weeks. We checked out his brain and it is all where it should be, as well as his nuchuel fold, which also appeared normal. The vein and 2 arteries that run through the umbilical cord were all there and functioning properly...so basically everything looks great!

Brian and I are really excited and after next week's appointment on Monday (the official check for everything) we should be "in the clear"! The great news is that it is looking like everything will be ok this go round!

We're going to start looking at names pretty seriously and come to a decision shortly, so of course I'll keep you updated on that one as well!

I'm just so thankful! Thank you for all of your prayers, text messages and thoughts, they are HUGELY appreciated!

"We never walk alone, this is our hope..." -Natalie Grant, Our Hope Endures

So I've been thinking a lot about trust lately. Trusting God that is. My conundrum is that many people seem to think that trusting God means trusting that everything is going to be ok, but that's faulty b/c you can trust your heart out and then things aren't ok.

I guess when I trust another trustworthy person I am trusting that no matter what occurs, they won't (as far as it is in their power) do anything to betray or hurt me on purpose. Of course the human element of not being perfect gets in there and it doesn't always work out that way.

When it comes to God, I seemed to fall into that same line of faulty thinking. a+b always= c. If I trust, then obviously things will be ok. I don't know why I want to think like that other than I really want everything to be ok when I go to the doctor on Tuesday for my check up. Upon further reflection (as I was walking/attempting to jog for a few minutes this evening) I came to my senses and realized that trusting God doesn't mean just believing that everything will be ok. (As much as I would like it to be.) But instead, it means trusting that no matter what the situation may be, that God is there right along side me, (I mean technically the holy spirit is even inside of me interceding on my behalf...so that's pretty close) feeling with me and sustaining me. Comforting in many ways yes, but man I sure would appreciate a foolproof 100% guarantee that everything will be ok with our baby.

Fact is, I don't get that. What would my faith be if there wasn't the element of the unknown? Could I really call it faith then? I think no. The unknown gives me the opportunity to trust. Not in an outcome but in God's love for me.

Two weeks ago I was asked last minute at church to sit in on the Sr. High Sunday School with the youth minister b/c two of the regular adults (who I know) had to leave last minute. I went along with another lady from my Sunday School class, and I was amazed and the topic they were grappling with. The study that day was on Prayer, which on the surface might sound pretty cut and dry. But instead of going with the easy parts of prayer, Jeff, the youth minister started off with a lot of questions. "How come a child is born with a life threatening malformation, everyone prays, and still the baby dies, yet, in another room of the hospital a 9 year old is diagnosed with cancer, everyone prays, and when a follow up exam is completed weeks later, there is no trace of cancer in the child's body? Why did one child live and another die? Was that God's will? Were some people's prayers better than others?" I couldn't believe Jeff was asking high school kids the same questions I grappled with last summer! Why does prayer "work" sometimes and "not" others?

A discussion followed and I was surprised that so many of the guys spoke up. They had all sorts of interesting ideas. Some of them seemed solid, and others I disagreed with. A few girls shared and somewhere along the way (after other adults had joined the discussion) out of my mouth pops, "I guess it goes back to simply trusting in God's love for us, regardless of the outcome. I think it's possible that we just won't understand everything that happens to us." Now I had a lot more on my mind, but it was really just more questions, and time was running out. So, for two weeks I have been asking myself, what does it mean to trust in God's love for me?

It certainly doesn't mean thinking that everything will be ok, b/c if that was the case, I couldn't really trust anymore. Like I said before, I think it just means trusting that God is right here with us, in this broken, imperfect world. Yes, sometimes he changes things and I know he can, but he doesn't always do it in the way I expect or want or even recognize.

He gave us such a gift after having John, those 30 minutes or so that John lived and we were able to hold him and pray for him, and love him in person. Wow. I never thought that God could bring something so good out of a situation that was so horrible. I was honestly completely inept to pray for anything once I was faced with the situation. I froze when I got all that information about John. I didn't know how to ask God to do anything, all I could muster was for him to be with me during the process and to guide me in the decisions I had to make with Brian. Well, God definitely was there and gave us a beautiful moment of grace and joy that I will never forget and will always be thankful for.

This time, I don't feel as inept to pray for our child. I sure am asking that God would help our baby to grow healthfully, but I also am asking for God to just be with me during the process, and help me to trust him, not for the outcome, but trust in his character and his love for me and this kiddo I have growing inside of me. His love far exceeds mine, and I have a lot of love for this baby.

I will certainly let you know how things go after this Tuesday (the appointment is at 10). I've just been thinking a lot lately and wanted to share. I'm thankful to have a God who is trustworthy.

"You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life...ooooh, see that girl, watch that scene, diggin the dancing queen..." -ABBA

I just returned from watching the BEST feel good modern musical of our time... MAMMA MIA!

I absolutely LOVED IT! IF YOU GET THE CHANCE... GO SEE IT!

I went with my mom and some extended family, and let me tell you, I danced my heart out at the end when they did the sing along. I LOVED IT! Maybe I almost knocked my pregnant self over into the lower row of seats thanks to my excitement fueled by the fun music...but thankfully my Mom and Lori caught me! I jived with the best of them and sang really loudly. I think my mom and I singing might have prompted the people who were sitting behind us to find new seats for the second act, but oh well. This is one of those musicals that is MEANT to be sung by the audience...

They were quiet creative with their set, and everyone had lovely voices! We were on the first balcony and I was a bit concerned that we wouldn't see well, but it was just fine! The costumes were so fun, and the dancing was amazing. I remembered why I LOVED doing theater in high school!

Now I really want to go see WICKED in August...anyone else up for going??? Let me know! I think theatrical events need to be a part of my life on a semi-regular basis!

After we finished at Bass Concert Hall, we headed to The Melting Pot (which none of us had ever been to) and had a fabulous meal! I LOVE FONDUE as well...

My favorite had to be the strawberries and white chocolate amaretto fondue, but everything else was tasty as well!

We had:
course one
quatrro formagio fondue
fiesta fondue
with bread, green apples and vegetables
my favorite was the green apples with the quattro formagio fondue

course two
Salad with fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, basil and a delightful balsamic vinaigrette

course three
all sorts of crazy tasty meat
shrimp diablo (which I avoided)
sun dried tomato chicken
lemoncello steak
fillet minion
orange fennel pork loin (my fave!)
and potatoes (that I couldn't quite get cooked enough)
broccoli and mushrooms with several dipping sauces (two of which were Gorgonzola based and I sadly could not consume b/c that cheese was not pasteurized.)

course four (amazing)
white chocolate amaretto fondue
turtle milk chocolate fondue
strawberries
cheesecake
marshmallows (coated in tasty stuff)
brownies
pound cake
banana slices

It was a great day, and now I am happy to crawl into bed and sleep!

"Wake up sleepyhead, I think the sun's a little brighter today..." -Dive In, DMB

So, I've been waiting for what seems like forever to post about expecting a little one and I finally get to because today I am officially 12 weeks along! This is a great shot I got at my Dr's appointment yesterday! I think I have told almost everyone who reads my blog, and if I haven't told you, I sure tired to get in touch to let you know what was going on!

Everything looked great (as far as we can tell at this point in the pregnancy), so I am hopeful and excited! These first weeks have been a bit stressful for me, so I am trying to stop the worrying process, and just be thankful for how things are right now. I do think I will feel MUCH better after we get past the 20 week mark...but hey only 8 more weeks/two more months to go on that one! I will keep you updated on the progress. We're just praying that everything continues to develop in a healthy way!

My doc is so wonderful! He knows how stressful this is (and sometimes I wonder if it is a bit stressful for him!) for me and so yesterday when I went in for my appointment, he started it off by wheeling in the ultrasound machine and saying, "Hi, we have to do this first because I kinda stole it and need to get it back!" I was super thankful b/c normally you don't get ultrasounds every time you go in. He said for the first half of my pregnancy, we would just check because he knew it would make me feel so much better. He's right, it does! Yay for a kind doctor! I mean I appreciate him so much it has crossed my mind to name a son born to us after him but Brian thought that might be a bit weird...and he's probably right. :)

I was so glad to see our little one kicking feet and waving arms and moving all over the place! It's funny to see our baby move so much b/c I can't feel any of it yet. It is very reassuring when you can feel the baby b/c then you know, hey everything's still normal in there, so I will be excited when I feel the baby move in the future!

So, that's our big news! I am just barely starting to show, which is fun, and the nausea has recently lifted, so that is a nice bonus as well! I'm about to enter the second trimester, so all looks good! PHEW!